One Reason Not to Outsource Your Manhood

Deriving your identity from your woman leads to trouble

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” – Hebrews […]

Stimulation Is Good But Beware the Fakes

Get to know genuine accomplishment and real satisfaction

“Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.” – Psalm 119:37 We have spent the last several weeks considering the importance of the psychological and emotional needs Identity, Stimulation, and Security. In this post, I’d like to discuss the consequences of the misplaced or unmoderated need for stimulation. […]

Why You Need Your Question Answered

Seeking stimulation by creating drama

 “Crazy is like glitter. It sticks to everything, gets everywhere, and you never get rid of it.”  – Anonymous (or perhaps I said it first) Over the past several posts we have been dealing with the primary emotional needs of Identity, Stimulation, and Security. Playwright-turned-anthropologist Robert Ardrey deserves the credit for identifying these three — […]

Idols are alive

...at least in the sense of being present in our day

In the news recently, I learned about a grandmother in Brazil who thought she was praying before a statue of St. Anthony, when she was actually praying to Lord of the Rings action figure — Elrond to be exact. We can debate the merits/demerits of praying to saints (I have never found it necessary), but […]

Defeating the False Self – a First-Person Account

He's not all bad...

In my previous post on identity, I warned against the rise of the impostor, also known as the false self. If you’re like me and most of the men I’ve met, you have either overcome the false self, or you are living the life of the false self. What is this False Self you speak […]

News Flash: Porn is Bad for You

Says the woman who used her own body to profit from it

This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.” – Proverbs 30:20 (ESV) I was simultaneously heartened and disheartened late last week as I read an op-ed in Thursday’s Wall Street Journal. In a piece titled Take the Pledge: No More Indulging Porn, Rabbi […]

Re-Post: The Way Home

Four steps to get you headed in the right direction

To this point, we’ve talked about chastity, about getting fit, about developing a work ethic and about perseverance — all oriented toward actions you can take to improve your future.  But what if your past is holding you back?  I mean, what if you’ve totally blown it?  Is there a way to start over, or […]

When You Marry A Mountain Girl, You Marry The Mountain

Part 1 of 2

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” -Proverbs 12:4 The title of today’s post is an old Appalachian saying — I can’t remember when or where I first heard it. In its most common use, it means that a woman’s attachment to her […]

The High Price of Free – Part II

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” -Jesus (Matthew 6:21 – NIV) In Part I, we discussed the connection between work and satisfaction.  I posited that the contentment that comes from working toward and achieving a goal is great inspiration toward further accomplishment — a virtuous circle.  But how does the […]

Fifty Shades of Grey – 180 Degrees Off

“Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.” – Psalm 119:37 (ESV) I’ll say it: Fifty Shades of Grey is pornography.  The fact that you can buy FSOG books at airports and grocery stores doesn’t change its essence.  The popularity of the book series and likely success of the […]