“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
-Romans 12:18 (ESV)

In Rock Hill, South Carolina, a judge recently vacated the sentences of nine civil rights activists who were arrested and convicted in the 1960’s. Their crime was sitting at the same lunch counter as whites in a local five and dime store — a violation of the Jim Crow laws of the time that demanded separation of the races.

Although it took more than 50 years for this injustice to be overturned in the court system, the Friendship Nine as they are known have been hailed as civil rights pioneers and lauded for their courage and willingness to confront the immorality of racial segregation — even though it cost them.

“..the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.” Stand out anyway.

There will come a time in your life when you will recognize that something isn’t right.  You’ll think to yourself, or say aloud, “Somebody ought to do something.”  And then you’ll realize — “It’s got to be me.”

When that moment comes, will you be ready to accept the challenge?  Here’s a sonnet from the poetry corner:

Stand

There comes a time to stand for what you know
To be the right, whatever be the cost.
Then get you up to speak, or do, or go
To fill some gaping breach, though you be tossed
From wave to towering wave, while dervish winds
Pull sail from yard, and blind your eyes with spray.
Do what you must; go fight beside your friends;
Do what you can, and more; go seize the day.
Fear not the foe, and damn the shores alee.
To win the fight, you must run to the van.
The valiant prisoner’s heart may yet be free;
The coward’s heart is chained, and never can.
Go fight your fight; you must do what you ought.
It’s better fought and lost than never fought.”
– Mark Lukey

Speaking out against powerful people and their interests is not without cost or consequences. Take note of that old Japanese proverb, “The nail that sticks up gets beaten down.”  When Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. engaged in civil disobedience, he understood that his breaking of unjust laws would still result in his going to jail. He did it anyway.

Likewise, if you are called to raise your hand or your voice against some wrong, you shouldn’t be surprised should you encounter opposition.  No one can guarantee your success or assure your safety. Our society is as polarized as I have ever seen, and the lengths to which some people will go over mere differences of opinion is still surprising to me.

Even so, we must not allow ourselves to be cowed into silence. There really is such a thing as evil in the world and, as Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Whatever battle we’re called to, let’s prepare ourselves to do the right thing.

So how about you? What conversation or issue have you been avoiding? Haul it out into the daylight, kiss it on the mouth and watch it die. Add your comments below.

Note: I’m re-running this post in honor and memory of Mr. James Wells — one of the Friendship Nine — who died Sunday, July 8, at age 77.

Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.  – Colossians 3:17 (The Message)

It’s time for another visit to the poetry corner.  The following was in regular use in my old Boy Scout troop.   It was there I learned a lot about leadership and about service.  So here, for your edification and enjoyment is Edna Wheeler Wilcox’s Two Kinds of People

A leaning door isn’t quite fulfilling its purpose.

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE

There are two kinds of people on earth today,
Just two kinds of people, no more, I say,
Not the good and the bad, for ’tis well understood
The good are half bad and the bad are half good

Not the happy and sad, for the swift flying years
Bring each man his laughter and each man his tears.
Not the rich and the poor, for to count a man’s wealth
You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life’s busy span
Who puts on vain airs is not counted a man.
No! The two kinds of people on earth I mean
Are the people who lift, and the people who lean.

Wherever you go you will find the world’s masses
Are ever divided in just these two classes.
And, strangely enough, you will find, too, I wean,
There is only one lifter to twenty who lean.

This one question I ask, Are you easing the load
Of overtaxed lifters who toil down the road?
Or are you a leaner who lets others bear
Your portion of worry and labor and care?

-Edna Wheeler Wilcox

Whether it acknowledges it or not, the world needs the unique contributions and leadership of men.  Discovering your purpose — your calling — is worth the time and effort it takes.  And after this, committing to your mission according to that purpose is where a man crafts his legacy.  It is at this point that a man must dedicate himself to being, in the words of the poet, a lifter.

If you’re a leader, bear the burden of leadership by serving those you expect to follow you.  It is important to meet your obligations, and the heart of management is motivating and inspiring others to own and perform the necessary tasks.  Leadership is management with human concerns at the forefront.  So take care to value people and use things — not the other way around.

And if you’re a follower, ease your leader’s burden by offering to take on some of his tasks, and even more by having at least one well-thought-out solution for every problem you bring him.  It may ultimately be his call, but you’re lightening the load by bringing your leader the best thinking you’ve got.

So how about you?  In what ways are you helping to bear your share of the load in your family, career, church and community?  Add your comments below.

“Therefore I urge you to imitate me.”  – 1 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)
–Saint Paul

Time for another visit to the poetry corner. Note: I found this years ago in a poetry anthology belonging to my grandfather. I noticed it because when he read something that stuck with him, he’d sign his name on the page. It stuck with me, too.

It’s a Boy!

The Little Chap Who Follows Me

A careful man I ought to be
A little fellow follows me
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he’ll go the self-same way.

I must not madly step aside
Where pleasure’s paths are smooth and wide
And join in wine’s red revelry
A little fellow follows me.

I cannot once escape his eyes
Whate’er he sees me do he tries
Like me, he says he’s going to be:
The little chap who follows me.

He thinks that I am good and fine,
Believes in every word of mine:
The base in me he must not see,
The little chap who follows me.

I must remember as I go,
Through summer’s sun and winter’s snow,
I’m building for the years to be,
A little fellow follows me.
– Author Unknown

I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me

We live in an era of widespread surveillance — from nanny cams and home security systems to state-sponsored monitoring of our phone calls, emails, texts and web browsing.  This is the sort of supervision “for our own good” that George Orwell warned about.  And it is the kind of snooping aimed at controlling us.

This poem, however, provides a different reminder regarding our being watched.  Your younger brothers and sisters, your nephews and nieces, your teammates, your direct reports, your wife, your own sons and daughters are looking to you and your example to determine what’s right and what’s wrong.  This is the arena of self-control.

What Would A Great Character Do?

Author and marketing expert Donald Miller says that when we’re facing a decision, we should consider how we would view a character in a story who made that same choice.  I like this approach because it enables me to take my emotions out of it and consider the issue from an outside point of view.  This is one more reason why the stories we choose are so important.

I’d add one further step: consider how you’d feel if your kid brother or your son did what you’re thinking of doing.  Believe me, getting this right can save you — and the ones looking up to you — a lot of grief.

In a previous post, I explained that part of the reason I publish this blog under my real name is that I am not my own.  My words and my deeds do not only affect me, but they affect my family and every organization I’m in as well.  They’re watching me.  You’re watching me.  I know that, and I have to consider this daily.  I readily admit I am far from perfect, but I am better than I was.

If you want to live a maximized life and be the man you were born to be, consider that Little Brother Is Watching You, and pass on an example and a legacy you can be proud of.

So how about you?  Who are the ones looking to you for an example?  How can you model excellence for them?  Add your comments below.

“Yeah, well, y’know that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”
-The Dude. The Big Lebowski

We have entered a period in our history where we have elevated what our senses can perceive as facts, while we relegate abstract principles to the realm of opinions.  This is not healthy.

I can see clearly now.

No sane man would question the sensory data that demonstrate the existence of water, trees, birds, fire, or anything tangible, or of the ways we speak of their dimensions. Height, depth, heat, cold, wetness — no one has a problem with these ideas or the substance they describe.

At the same time, however, we are losing our ability to consider the objective reality of concepts — of things — such as truth, beauty, justice, love, honor, right and wrong. Some of this linguistic debasement is intentional. Destroy the vocabulary for moral reasoning and you establish the frame for the debate, if there can even be one.

Let’s pay a visit to the poetry corner and talk a bit about the limits of stunting debate:

The Blind Men and the Elephant

 

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a WALL!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho, what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a SPEAR!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a SNAKE!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he:
“‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a TREE!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a FAN!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a ROPE!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

So how about you? How are you striving to cultivate your moral sense? What have you found helpful? Please add your comments below.

Note: We will resume our series on Identity, Stimulation, and Security next post. This is on-topic for where we’re going.

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”
– Proverbs 17:27 (ESV)

With Thanksgiving this week, I am seeing articles and hearing reports unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Families are dividing, disowning, and disinviting over political differences. Ridiculous!

Before we take a long-overdue visit to the poetry corner, I’d like to offer a couple of thoughts in hopes of helping some of you in this unfortunate group find your way back to sanity.

Slow your roll (and maybe take a bite of one) while you consider your words.

First, the family

Please recognize that the family is the cornerstone of an orderly society. Despite its flawed execution, the family is still the best environment for rearing and sustaining emotionally, spiritually, physically, and intellectually healthy people. On numerous occasions, we have discussed that we human beings have an enemy with many aliases. He is variously known as the deceiver, the father of lies, the accuser, the devil. His mission is to steal, kill, and destroy — and one of his favorite targets is the family. He will use any opportunity to divide and conquer. Could you be playing into his hands?

If you and your family members don’t share the same political views, I suggest you (ahem) table them for the greater good of family unity.

Does this make sense?

Further, only a fool would allow a politician of either party to alienate him from his own family. Look at it this way: The number of people Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton can affect personally — favorably or unfavorably — is vanishingly small in a nation of 320 million people. What did either candidate ever to to you or for you, that you would prefer him or her over your own kin?

Everything else at this point is opinion and speculation. I hope this isn’t news to you, but you can choose your thoughts. And I submit to you that turning your back on your loved ones — loved ones! — is a sign of fear and self-absorption. Let us choose instead to focus on the finer qualities of our family members and friends and let us disown and disinvite the intrusive and uncharitable thoughts about those with whom we differ.

Have you tried Kipling?

Here is a classic poem from Rudyard Kipling that seems strangely apt for our times.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!”

Take a look at how much of what Kipling recommends is within our power to choose it. And note the rewards of being noble — especially when we aren’t afforded the same treatment by others. I am recommending that you and I resolve to behave like Christian gentlemen no matter what kind of reception we get. I’m not promising it will be easy, but you’ll stand out for the best reasons.

Elsewhere, I have written that often the greatest obstacle to our success lies not in our circumstances, but between our ears. This is another such occasion.

Seek wisdom

Please refer again to the Proverb at the top of this post. Note the verb “restrains.” You do want to be a man of knowledge, don’t you? Restrain your words, then. And maintain a cool spirit. Then you’ll be able to discuss nearly any topic without losing precious relationships. Oh, and one more thing: If you’re sure you’re right, you don’t need to yell.

Happy, happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Remember your relatives are meant to be a blessing and a treasure, so find a way to enjoy them.

So how about you? How are you choosing to keep a cool spirit this Thanksgiving? Add your comments below.

P.S. If you’re sweating making a good impression at the Thanksgiving table because you’ve forgotten your table manners, check out this post for the quick and dirty on keeping it clean.

“Many people die with their music still in them.”
– Oliver Wendell Homes, Sr.

There has been a lot of heavy stuff happening of late. Let’s lighten up — just a bit — with another visit to the poetry corner. Here is a 2007 poem by X. J. Kennedy:

Time is inevitable; character is possible. Rust is optional. (photo credit: Russ McCabe)

In a prominent bar in Secaucus one day
Rose a lady in skunk with a topheavy sway,
Raised a knobby red finger–all turned from their beer–
While with eyes bright as snowcrust she sang high and clear:

‘Now who of you’d think from an eyeload of me
That I once was a lady as proud as could be?
Oh I’d never sit down by a tumbledown drunk
If it wasn’t, my dears, for the high cost of junk.

‘All the gents used to swear that the white of my calf
Beat the down of the swan by a length and a half.
In the kerchief of linen I caught to my nose
Ah, there never fell snot, but a little gold rose.

‘I had seven gold teeth and a toothpick of gold,
My Virginia cheroot was a leaf of it rolled
And I’d light it each time with a thousand in cash–
Why the bums used to fight if I flicked them an ash.

‘Once the toast of the Biltmore, the belle of the Taft,
I would drink bottle beer at the Drake, never draught,
And dine at the Astor on Salisbury steak
With a clean tablecloth for each bite I did take.

‘In a car like the Roxy I’d roll to the track,
A steel-guitar trio, a bar in the back,
And the wheels made no noise, they turned ever so fast,
Still it took you ten minutes to see me go past.

‘When the horses bowed down to me that I might choose,
I bet on them all, for I hated to lose.
Now I’m saddled each night for my butter and eggs
And the broken threads race down the backs of my legs.

‘Let you hold in mind, girls, that your beauty must pass
Like a lovely white clover that rusts with its grass.
Keep your bottoms off barstools and marry you young
Or be left–an old barrel with many a bung.

‘For when time takes you out for a spin in his car
You’ll be hard-pressed to stop him from going too far
And be left by the roadside, for all your good deeds,
Two toadstools for tits and a face full of weeds.

‘All the house raised a cheer, but the man at the bar
Made a phone call and up pulled a red patrol car
And she blew us a kiss as they copped her away
From that prominent bar in Secaucus, N.J.”