By now you’ve certainly heard or read that Procter & Gamble’s Gillette brand group has launched an ad (or perhaps a campaign) urging men to “Shave their toxic masculinity.” If you believe all publicity is good publicity, this would look like a victory for Gillette. However, if your purpose is to attract more loyal customers, it’s hard to see how this ad will make that happen.

Half a cheer for taking a stand

Let’s give Gillette credit for purchasing expensive air time to promote their corporate point of view. And let’s concede that the abuses of masculine strength they call out are genuinely wrong. I’ve taught my own sons and published this blog to reinforce the purpose and appropriate use of masculine strength.

Where the blade slips

Here’s the problem: Gillette blames all men for the misuse of masculine strength. Cultural Marxist feminism has sought to destroy men by diminishing and vilifying them simply for being men. This is the same cohort that attempted to define the marriage bed — that transcendent one-flesh union that is a glorious gift of God — as rape. That’s right: they call sexual relations between a husband and his wife rape.

Whether they mean to or not Gillette tars all men with the broad brush of “toxic masculinity” — a term of art used to smear any masculine expression that doesn’t conform to current-year pieties. It’s purposely vague and obviously intended to exert control over men and their behavior, particularly men who are more traditionally masculine.

In my view, this is not just bad business, but Procter & Gamble have allowed a political -ism to hijack its brand and in doing so, alienate its loyal customers.

Piling on

Coincidentally, the American Psychiatric Association issued a report just a few days before the Gillette ad saying that traditional masculinity was harmful. And there it is! To be a man is to be bad. We have a lot to look forward to as the implications of this study take root.

Bleeding out

I’ve read several articles on the Gillette ad, and I have particularly enjoyed reading the comment sections following each. While I didn’t find any commenters acting as champions for sexual harassment, bullying, or sexual violence, I did see men and women rejecting the slander and declaring their intention not to buy Procter & Gamble products going forward. It’s a free country, and free men and women get to spend their own money where they will.

Several of the commenters made the point that if you want men to take the lead, don’t berate them in front of the ones who are supposed to follow them. This is correct.

That’s why we want to encourage and affirm at this blog, rather than shame or scold. The other thing I’ve learned is, where men are concerned if you’re talking to everybody, you’re not talking to anybody.

More freedom

Since I practice my freedom of speech here, I support and endorse Procter & Gamble’s right to waste their shareholders’ money on preachy and ineffective ads. I also support and endorse those consumers who choose to take their business elsewhere. Live and let live.

My family and I don’t want to reward a business that seeks to enhance its reputation by slandering men, so we will be shopping more carefully.

About that crisis

Before I close this post, I want to say that there is a crisis in masculinity. But that crisis is spiritual in nature — and it isn’t going to resolve by buying one brand of razor blade or another. And that’s the worst of Gillette’s blunder: call out a social problem with a spiritual root, and present your product as the magic solution. Or worse, position yourself as judge and scold. “Forgive us, O Gillette, for we have sinned — every one!”

But spiritual problems don’t get better simply by trying harder. My friends in recovery understand this better than most. This is why 12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous encourage participants to acknowledge their powerlessness to overcome addiction on their own, and to engage the help of a “higher power.” Around here, we know His name. And as we grow in our love for Him, He transforms us. Then obedience, reformation, and restoration take the place of the unhealthy compulsions that so often result in the abuse of masculine strength with all those unhappy consequences.

So, I’m keeping my beard, changing my razor, and seeking to walk closer with Jesus. I won’t look different, but over time, I want to be more like Him.

So how about you? What’s your take on the Gillette ad and the APA statement? Add your comments below.

PS Not so long ago, Gillette ran an inspirational ad depicting Seattle Seahawks rookie player Shaquem Griffin from his childhood to the NFL. The scene with his father teaching him and his brother to shave was on-brand and affirming. This shows how truly wretched the new anti-masculinity ad is. Maybe Gillette figures that the greater surface area of women’s legs will offset the loss of blade sales for men’s faces.

While we celebrate the incarnation of Christ Jesus, I want to ask you to consider the example of a man who was indispensable to the Christmas story — Joseph the carpenter.

Meet Joseph

When we first meet Joseph in the Bible, he is defined in terms of his relationships — as the son of his father, Jacob, and the husband of Mary, the mother of Christ (Matthew 1:16).  From there we learn that Joseph was engaged to Mary, and that Mary was pregnant by God the Holy Spirit.

Joseph’s choices

Although Joseph could have avenged his honor and had Mary stoned to death for her supposed adultery, instead he made up his mind to break their engagement quietly.  But instead, a messenger of God — an angel — appeared to Joseph and told him not to be afraid to proceed with the marriage, because Mary was carrying God’s son.  So Joseph obeyed God.  The only other narrative mentions of Joseph in the Gospel according to Matthew show him moving his family to safety in Egypt, and later to Nazareth to avoid murderous and corrupt rulers.

Family ties

In the Gospel according to Luke, we see Joseph taking his bride to his ancestral home, Bethlehem, because of a census decree.  Jesus was born there just as it had been prophesied.  Bethlehem was significant because Joseph was descended from King David — the greatest king of Israel — and the prophecies regarding the messiah told that he would be the son of David.

Joseph’s greatness

Despite the slight number of scripture verses in which Joseph appears, his impact is tremendous.  Christmas could not have happened without him.  Here are the lessons I take from the life of Joseph:

• No whining — According to the genealogy of Jesus, Joseph could well have been the rightful heir to the throne of King David.  Instead he was a tradesman –a carpenter.  We do not have any account that suggests Joseph complained about his station in life, or about the circumstances he and his fiancée found themselves in.
• No drama — When it appeared Mary had been unfaithful to him, his love for her caused him not to want to subject her to disgrace.  His plan was to quietly send her away.
• Faithful — Joseph is described as a man of noble character.  Although this is not unheard of in the offspring of kings, it is by no means guaranteed.  Note that Joseph willingly accepted the role of Jesus’ earthly father, even though scripture tells us he did not have marital relations with Mary until after the birth of Jesus.  That is, he took the responsibility without any immediate gratification.
• Devout — We see Joseph hearing from God via angels and dreams, so we must conclude that he was seeking God’s wisdom.  Elsewhere we see him presenting the newborn Jesus to be dedicated at the temple, according to the law.  Certainly Joseph revered God to have ingrained such habits of belief and practice.
• Obedient — When God communicated His will to Joseph, it appears Joseph went straight to it.  Human nature was no different in Joseph’s day than it is in ours, so clearly Joseph must have known he’d have to deal with the whispers and gossip of his neighbors.  Based on the information given us in the Bible, he didn’t let anything deter him.
• Cool as the other side of the pillow — When evil Herod wanted to kill the newborn King of the Jews, Joseph got instructions to take Mary and Jesus into Egypt to escape Herod’s murderous intent.  And he just did it.  When news reached Joseph that Herod had died, God let him know it was safe to move back to Israel.  Again, he simply moved, although he did avoid Herod’s son by settling in Nazareth. (This decision fulfilled another prophecy regarding Jesus – this is why Jesus was considered a Nazarene.)

About the painting:  This is “Saint Joseph and the Infant Christ” painted by Baciccio — also known as Giovanni Battista Gaulli.  I love this portrayal of Joseph — his expression conveys such love, wonder and reverence.  What genuine nobility!  What a man!  

So how about you?  What of Joseph’s example can you put to work in your life?  Add your comments below.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
– Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

Congratulations! You got the job! Now what? If you’re just entering the work force, or changing to a new job, you wouldn’t be human if your excitement didn’t also contain a bit of apprehension. This is natural, as starting a new job is one of the top causes of stress. If you’re feeling anxious and wondering what your new boss is expecting from you, here are some tips to help you come through as you were designed to.

You’re working by choice — don’t do it like you have a gun to your head!

Deliver

In a previous post, I explained the importance of delivering results in every circumstance. You landed the job because your employer believes in your ability to produce. The best roles are those that allow you to measure your progress, to see the worth you generate. So your first task is to determine from your boss’s point of view what a great job looks like and deliver that. All day. Every day.

High speed

The workplace is changing and the pace is quicker than ever. Even if your business is to serve other businesses, your clients are consumers in their daily lives, with the same expectations of a predictably enjoyable experience and a quick, trouble-free transaction. Your task is to develop the knowledge and skill to deliver your output quickly and consistently.

Low drag

Management expert Peter Drucker foretold the rise of the knowledge economy — where most workers didn’t make things, they dealt in knowledge and information. Even for those still working in manufacturing, there is a substantial knowledge component that has accounted for unparalleled increases in productivity. No matter what your role, bring your brain to work and use it. Learn the procedures your employer requires and if you see ways to improve them, think through the business case for your proposed changes and present them to your boss.

Low drama

Unless you work for the owner of the company, odds are your boss has a boss. He (or she) has his own set of problems and doesn’t need you creating new ones. In particular your boss doesn’t want to solve problems for you that you could solve yourself. Ditto, refereeing disputes between you and other employees or departments.

You can distinguish yourself by being pleasant, helpful and above office politics. Getting along with your co-workers is important, but getting your work done is more important. Don’t linger at the coffee machine and stay clear of the temptation to enter into other people’s drama.

Promptness

When you get an assignment, make sure you understand when your boss needs your work. If you get a vague answer, propose a specific date — “Close of business on Friday?” It’s very important to hit these deadlines consistently. See the item above.

Punctuality

If work begins at 8:00, by all means be there at your station at 8:00. This means you are groomed, dressed in proper work attire and ready to produce. Life happens, and you may oversleep or be sick one day. Understand your company’s attendance policy and make sure you notify your boss if you run into trouble. Do right and you have less to worry about.

Diligence

Unless you’re punching a clock and your boss tells you not to stay past your scheduled work time, you’ll earn credibility by solving problems, and by sticking with the effort until you do.

Reliability

It will take time, but becoming a consistent performer will create more opportunities for you. Your boss will recommend you for increased (read better-paying) positions in your company. Let me add that you will fail from time to time, but being reliably resilient will also enhance your reputation.

Confidence

Part of being new in a job is taking in all the specific tasks you have to master while also learning the culture of your company as well as the cultures of the company’s customers and suppliers. Being open to the process, and sure of your ability to grasp all of this will help you succeed. My friends in recovery like to say, “Fake it ’til you make it.” Interestingly, behaving confidently will help you to become more confident — a virtuous circle. Just make sure your confidence rests ultimately on a foundation of achievement.

Humility

Confidence and humility are not opposites. You can be confident in your abilities while still humble enough to recognize that you still have a lot to learn. This means that when your boss offers correction or criticism, you ask clarifying questions, but you don’t offer excuses. It’s even better if you can repeat to your boss — in your own words — your understanding of the corrective action you are to take.

Also, it is not necessary to apologize for not knowing something — unless it’s a policy you received on your first day at work. Save apologies for genuine offenses and accept the lessons your boss is offering you.

Chemistry

Working musicians in Nashville don’t necessarily find work according to their musical virtuosity. Above a certain level of talent, it’s very hard to rank one player over another. Instead, the players who get more work are the ones who are known as “a good hang.” This means someone good to be around. Performing is a relatively small fraction of a musician’s time, so being good company makes the work more enjoyable.

Your boss is not looking for a new best friend, but he is looking for a capable associate who is also enjoyable to interact with. Master these tips while you learn the fundamentals of your job and you’ll be in demand over the course of your career.

So how about you? Which of these attributes do you need to work on to excel in your job? What have I missed? Add your comments below.

“Don’t be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Don’t reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you’re only being cute and inviting sacrilege.” – Jesus in Matthew 7:6 (MSG)

In Part 1, I presented an unintentional review of NBC’s live performance of Jesus Christ Superstar (I liked it), but faulted the original play for its failure to portray the resurrection of Jesus — his physical death and his rising form the grave on the third day. Look, I appreciate Andrew Lloyd Weber’s emphasizing the humanness of Jesus. Orthodox Christians have often glossed over His humanity and unwittingly fallen into error. At the same time, Weber over-emphasizes Jesus’ humanity, as it seems the story concludes that Jesus was a charismatic leader whom the zeitgeist promoted beyond any promise a man could keep — hence the designation, Superstar.

Horses for courses, toys for tots

If you want to learn about the nature of God and the nature of man, I submit that there are better sources of information than NBC’s Jesus Christ Superstar or ABC’s airing of The Ten Commandments. I commend both works  and both networks for at least portraying these events. The shows are well-told with high production values and top-tier actors. They are by far better than the anything-for-a-buck Passover Bag of Plagues pictured here. But like these stupid so-called toys,  once you know the story in its fullness, these programs seem trivial.

In this post, I’d like to lay out just a few reasons why I believe in the resurrection of Jesus and why i believe you should too.

The evidence for the resurrection

Excuse me, but who thought this was a good idea?

Let’s start with the relevant passage from the Bible. Here’s Matthew’s gospel following his account of Jesus’ death on the cross:

When it was evening, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who also was a disciple of Jesus. ⁵⁸ He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Then Pilate ordered it to be given to him. ⁵⁹ And Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen shroud ⁶⁰ and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had cut in the rock. And he rolled a great stone to the entrance of the tomb and went away. ⁶¹ Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb.

⁶² The next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate ⁶³ and said, “Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, ‘After three days I will rise.’ ⁶⁴ Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, ‘He has risen from the dead,’ and the last fraud will be worse than the first.” ⁶⁵ Pilate said to them, “You have a guard^[j] of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.” ⁶⁶ So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard.

Now after the Sabbath, toward the dawn of the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. ² And behold, there was a great earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled back the stone and sat on it. ³ His appearance was like lightning, and his clothing white as snow. ⁴ And for fear of him the guards trembled and became like dead men. ⁵ But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see the place where he^[lay. ⁷ Then go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and behold, he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him. See, I have told you.” ⁸ So they departed quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. ⁹ And behold, Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came up and took hold of his feet and worshiped him. ¹⁰ Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee, and there they will see me.”

¹¹ While they were going, behold, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests all that had taken place. ¹² And when they had assembled with the elders and taken counsel, they gave a sufficient sum of money to the soldiers ¹³ and said, “Tell people, ‘His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ ¹⁴ And if this comes to the governor’s ears, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” ¹⁵ So they took the money and did as they were directed. And this story has been spread among the Jews to this day.” – Matthew 27:57-66; 28:1-15 (NIV)

Let’s start where I left off in Part 1: Despite the Jewish authorities and Roman government’s shared interest in snuffing this upstart sect, Jesus’ enemies couldn’t produce his remains. Note that the officials stationed guards — Roman soldiers — to seal and guard the tomb to prevent the disciples from stealing Jesus’ body.

Note also the rich detail we have surrounding the story. We have the name of the man who prepared Jesus’ body for burial and who placed the body in his unused tomb. And there’s more. We have the cover-up for the failure of the guards and the harsh description in the mouths of the Pharisees, calling Jesus “that impostor.” Most people seeking to burnish the reputation of a revered figure don’t include disparaging information.

Eyewitnesses to history

Elsewhere in the Bible we learn that the risen Jesus appeared to many people on multiple occasions. In 1 Corinthians 15:6 Paul the Apostle writes that Jesus appeared to over 500 people at one time. He explained that many of them were still living a the time he wrote his account, so if he were misleading or mistaken, there were people who could have –and certainly would have — contradicted him. Don’t forget that Rome actively pursued and sought to exterminate Christians in the first century and beyond. Contradictory testimony would have been valuable and would have been promoted.

Historic recency

In his book History and Christianity, John W. Montgomery explains that the gospel writers’ earliest manuscripts appeared no later than 100 AD — well within the lifetimes of eyewitnesses to the resurrection. As I mentioned, the appearance of manuscripts contemporaneous to eyewitnesses would have allowed for correction or condemnation if these manuscripts had been incorrect.

This comparatively short interval is noteworthy among ancient writings. Montgomery says that the shortest interval between the death and the appearance of the earliest manuscripts attributed to an author are those of Plato. No serious historian doubts the accuracy or authenticity of the words attributed to Plato — and the earliest manuscripts appeared approximately 800 years after his death.

You bet your life

And last, we have the eyewitnesses to the resurrection who were executed for asserting the truth of the resurrection. Sincere people will die for something they erroneously believe to be true, but no one would willingly die for something he knows is false. Consider the logic: If the resurrection were a fraud and the afterlife a hollow promise, what would be the incentive to die thereby wasting one’s one and only life?

Here’s where it gets personal

This is why it matters that Jesus died and rose again: without the Grace and pardon of God, you and I are doomed to an eternity separated from God. Each one of us was born infected with the corruption of this fallen world. God is love and He loves us, but God is also just, so He must punish sin. That’s where Jesus comes in. The sinless son of God came into the world, fully God and fully human, and lived a life of perfect obedience to the law of God. Then He took the sins of the world on Himself and allowed Himself to be nailed to the cross — an innocent man dying a criminal’s death. This is the fulfillment of the ceremonial law of Moses, the once and forever fulfillment of the Passover, and the satisfaction of the law’s legitimate claim on blood for the covering and propitiation of sin. God’s love was so great, that He allowed His son Jesus to die for you and me, to take our punishment. But it’s even better than this.

If Jesus had simply died a martyr’s death as a human sacrifice, the benefit would have had an expiration date. Instead, since the wages of sin is death, Jesus proved He had mastered and broken death forever by staying in the grave until the third day and then rising — alive. This is why the resurrection of Jesus Christ is such a big deal. We need it.

So how about you — In what ways do you agree or disagree about the importance of the resurrection? Did you believe it before? Do you believe it now? Add your comments below.

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” – Ephesians 1:17 (NIV)

Like millions of my countrymen, I spent part of Easter Sunday watching NBC’s live performance of Jesus Christ Superstar — the rock opera that tells the story of the last week of the life of Jesus. Although as a child I had listened to and had sung along with the soundtrack album enough to know the songs by heart, I hadn’t really thought about the play in a good 30+ years. Yet there I was in front of the television watching it in high definition.

What surprised me was how well it had held up musically. I was impressed with the casting choices and with the size and tightness of the band. The high point for me was the voices — kudos in particular to John Legend, Brandon Dixon, and Sara Bareilles –  and Alice Cooper as King Herod was the main reason I decided to tune in.

You knew there was a “but” coming…

It’s not a Legend: Peter and John ran to the empty tomb

(Spoiler alert: I’m going to divulge plot points and specific staging decisions for this production. Don’t get mad at me: the play has been around since the 1970’s.) But at the end, I remembered why as impressive as it was and is, “Jesus Christ Superstar” feels like a letdown: there’s no resurrection. In fact it’s worse than that. At the climax of the show, Judas, the betrayer, commits suicide offstage. We then have the scourging of Jesus and the crucifixion, followed by the truly bizarre decision to have Jesus fly into the distance while still on the cross. This is followed by the reappearance of the apparently resurrected Judas who sings the title song and the show ends.

There must be a pony in there somewhere

Because I’m an optimist, I tend to look for the pony responsible for the pile of manure. In this production, we do see Jesus again — at the curtain call. It is part of the show, but it is not part of the play. I know, I know: what’s next? Will I start yelling at kids to get off my lawn? Not for many years.

Let me explain that I defend Andrew Lloyd Weber’s artistic decision to write what he wrote about Jesus. I hope it’s clear I’m praising (see what I did there?) the artistic merit of the production at every level. And, as a social media acquaintance pointed out, we should note that NBC spent a lot of money to hire top talent to present the story of Jesus — however imperfectly — in prime time on Easter. I’m concerned about the lack of a resurrection portrayal for a different reason.

Back in my day…

In the 1970’s Americans of every faith knew the outlines of Jesus’ story — the virgin birth, the visiting shepherds and wise men, the genocidal rage of Herod, the healing miracles, the Sermon on the Mount, Palm Sunday, the crucifixion, and the resurrection. These days we can no longer assume this knowledge is a given. Let me offer one example.

NPR: Not Particularly Religious

You may have read or heard that taxpayer-funded and listener-supported NPR offered this description of Easter during a report on Good Friday:

Easter — the day celebrating the idea that Jesus did not die and go to hell or purgatory or anywhere like that, but rather arose into heaven — is on Sunday.”

If this represents the national media’s level of what Dr. E.D. Hirsch called cultural literacy, you can forgive me for being concerned about a telling of Jesus’s story that doesn’t include His physical death and a bodily resurrection.

What difference does it make?

The resurrection of Jesus is the proof that Jesus was fully God and fully man, and more — that he satisfied the claims of divine justice permanently. Without a resurrected Jesus, there’s no good news, no new covenant, no pardon for sins, and no eternal hope. So for my skeptical or hard-core atheist friends, if you want to undo Christianity, present the bones of Jesus of Nazareth and your job is done. Theories and suppositions won’t cut it.

In Part 2, I’ll elaborate on why the resurrection is so important, and I’ll outline some of the evidence for the resurrection of Jesus.

So how about you — What do you think about the resurrection of Jesus? How did you come to your conclusions? Add your comments below.

Merry Christmas!

While we celebrate the incarnation of Christ Jesus, I want to ask you to consider the example of a man who was indispensable to the Christmas story — Joseph the carpenter.

St. Joseph and the Infant Christ (c. 1670-1685) by Baciccio

Meet Joseph

When we first meet Joseph in the Bible, he is defined in terms of his relationships — as the son of his father, Jacob, and the husband of Mary, the mother of Christ (Matthew 1:16).  From there we learn that Joseph was engaged to Mary, and that Mary was pregnant by God the Holy Spirit.

Joseph’s choices

Although Joseph could have avenged his honor and had Mary stoned to death for her supposed adultery, instead he made up his mind to break their engagement quietly.  But instead, a messenger of God — an angel — appeared to Joseph and told him not to be afraid to proceed with the marriage, because Mary was carrying God’s son.  So Joseph obeyed God.  The only other narrative mentions of Joseph in the Gospel according to Matthew show him moving his family to safety in Egypt, and later to Nazareth to avoid murderous and corrupt rulers.

Family ties

In the Gospel according to Luke, we see Joseph taking his bride to his ancestral home, Bethlehem, because of a census decree.  Jesus was born there just as it had been prophesied.  Bethlehem was significant because Joseph was descended from King David — the greatest king of Israel — and the prophecies regarding the messiah told that he would be the son of David.

Joseph’s greatness

Despite the slight number of scripture verses in which Joseph appears, his impact is tremendous.  Christmas could not have happened without him.  Here are the lessons I take from the life of Joseph:

• No whining — According to the genealogy of Jesus, Joseph could well have been the rightful heir to the throne of King David.  Instead he was a tradesman –a carpenter.  We do not have any account that suggests Joseph complained about his station in life, or about the circumstances he and his fiancée found themselves in.
• No drama — When it appeared Mary had been unfaithful to him, his love for her caused him not to want to subject her to disgrace.  His plan was to quietly send her away.
• Faithful — Joseph is described as a man of noble character.  Although this is not unheard of in the offspring of kings, it is by no means guaranteed.  Note that Joseph willingly accepted the role of Jesus’ earthly father, even though scripture tells us he did not have marital relations with Mary until after the birth of Jesus.  That is, he took the responsibility without any immediate gratification.
• Devout — We see Joseph hearing from God via angels and dreams, so we must conclude that he was seeking God’s wisdom.  Elsewhere we see him presenting the newborn Jesus to be dedicated at the temple, according to the law.  Certainly Joseph revered God to have ingrained such habits of belief and practice.
• Obedient — When God communicated His will to Joseph, it appears Joseph went straight to it.  Human nature was no different in Joseph’s day than it is in ours, so clearly Joseph must have known he’d have to deal with the whispers and gossip of his neighbors.  Based on the information given us in the Bible, he didn’t let anything deter him.
• Cool as the other side of the pillow — When evil Herod wanted to kill the newborn King of the Jews, Joseph got instructions to take Mary and Jesus into Egypt to escape Herod’s murderous intent.  And he just did it.  When news reached Joseph that Herod had died, God let him know it was safe to move back to Israel.  Again, he simply moved, although he did avoid Herod’s son by settling in Nazareth. (This decision fulfilled another prophecy regarding Jesus – this is why Jesus was considered a Nazarene.)

So how about you?  What of Joseph’s example can you put to work in your life?  Add your comments below.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” – Proverbs 27:6 (ESV)

I enjoyed The Lego Movie so much I watched it twice.

The protagonist Emmet’s favorite song in his orderly world is “Everything Is Awesome,” even as he fails to see the creeping tyranny of President/Lord Business.

Thumbs up? Ehh…not so much!

Millennials have been taking some flak from Baby Boomers and GenXers (whose turn it is to run things right now).  The complaint is that Millennials can’t take criticism — that the slightest word of correction becomes an existential wound.  (Don’t be mad at me — I’m just telling you what they said.)

Indulgent Boomer parents sought to build self esteem by removing the possibility of failure.  Therefore everyone got a participation trophy just for participating in leagues where no team was allowed to keep score or track statistics.  Let’s be fair.  That wasn’t your choice or your fault, but the unfamiliar sting of criticism can cause rational people — that is, people who seek to avoid pain — to indulge one of two responses: 1) withdrawal and avoidance or 2) delusion.

We see (or don’t) withdrawal and avoidance among the guys who make one bold stab at an objective and give up if it isn’t immediately successful.  The deluded guys are like candidates auditioning in the first round of American Idol — brimming with confidence and the assurances of their colleagues that “I sound Just like Brian McKnight/Brad Paisley/Chad Kroeger” when, in fact, they couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.  When an honest appraisal comes into conflict with the delusion, the indignation that results can be entertaining television, but it would get most people fired.

Learning to handle criticism

First, let’s agree that everything isn’t awesome.  Not everyone is going to like you or get your jokes.  Each one of us has some strengths and weaknesses — and the process of discovering which are which involves multiple cycles of trial, error and feedback.  Criticism is feedback. Here are some tips to help you become more resilient when you receive, say, negative feedback at work.

Never Let ‘Em See You Sweat

Getting a bad review or being criticized isn’t fun.  Nobody enjoys it.  But how you respond can put you in a more favorable light if you do it right.  First, keep in mind that most bosses with a brain aren’t criticizing your entire being – just a behavior or a result.  It is too easy to react emotionally, but this isn’t the venue. Keep your composure.   It’s good advice when you’re on the receiving end of an unfavorable opinion.

Keep Your Head Up

Make eye contact.  Ask questions.  Take notes.  Regard this as an opportunity to learn.  Specifically ask the one offering the criticism how you can improve.  Often asking for advice puts you and your critic on the same side of an issue.

NOTE: If the situation is too tense, it’s OK to break off and come back with your questions.

Don’t make excuses

Most of us want to save face, to prove that we aren’t as bad as all that.  Your boss is trying to communicate something to you.  When you are making excuses, you are using your mouth when you should be using your ears.  So do this instead: reply by restating the criticism in your own words.   Your boss will understand whether the message is getting through, or he will have the opportunity to clarify it for you.

Check it out

Not all criticism is justified or correct.  Before you totally overhaul your existence, reflect on the substance and  nature of the criticism.  Does it seem accurate?   If you have a mentor who’ll shoot you straight (and you really should), arrange to discuss this with him and let him give you his perspective.  If you seek counsel, listen to wisdom, and put his advice into practice.

Shake it off

Haters gonna hate, and there is no pleasing or compromising with some people.  Certain ideas cannot be reconciled (try round squares on for size), so if you’ve examined the criticism from your own and from a trusted advisor’s point of view and found it to be baseless, you can motor on.  Recognize that this may entail changing positions, divisions or companies.  I like what the late Brent Curtis said: “Let the world feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.”

Rub some dirt on it

Spend time — and money if necessary — to correct legitimate faults.  Get professional coaching, whether it be singing, golf, interviewing skills, ballroom dancing or public speaking that’s holding you back.  Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty and get better.

Just as Emmet in “The Lego Movie” had to recognize his ordinariness to become extraordinary, you can accept criticism and use it as a springboard to a better version of yourself.

So how about you?  How does criticism affect you?  How are you becoming resilient?  Add your comments below.

Lego minifig courtesy of D.R. Short

A man on a mission has to be on his guard, as there are obstacles and enemies that would thwart his purpose. Bandits will try to rob him, women will try to seduce him, fatigue will try to overpower him and even his appetite will attempt to sidetrack him. If he is at his best, and he remembers the reason he left home in the first place, he will see each challenge for what it is. He will then know best how to overcome it.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself
(photo by Rodion Kutsaev)

I have said before how much I love  The Chronicles of Narnia — C.S. Lewis’ series of fantasy novels about a world parallel to ours where animals talk, mythological creatures are real, and the king is a lion named Aslan. In the fourth* book in the series, titled The Silver Chair, two English children find themselves taken from their oppressive school to a mountaintop in Aslan’s Country. Here they receive a charge from Aslan himself to go on a quest for a lost Narnian prince.

Remember the signs

Aslan tells one of the children, Jill Pole, about the quest, and he gives her four signs to help her and her companion, Eustace, stay on track. Aslan demands that Jill repeat the signs over and over, and he tells her to continue repeating them often. He explains that the air on the mountain is clear, but that she will find it harder to remember them in the denser air of Narnia.

No spoilers here

The remainder of the story deals with the adventures that ensue from Jill and Eustace’s remembering or failing to remember the signs. There is so much good there, I’m not remotely tempted to ruin the story for you — you really should read it, though.

Also, I can’t tell you what sort of pitfalls await you on your journey, but I can tell you that no one I know sails a straight course through life. Our air is dense, too, and it is easy at times to forget and fall into trouble. Some hardships result from our poor choices, some from the whims of others, and some from living in a fallen world. I do believe that God is able to use them all to accomplish His will — even our failings — but we must be honest with Him and with ourselves.

What’s in it for you?

On multiple occasions, I’ve encouraged you to discover your purpose and to decide to live a life of consequence. I’ll stand by that advice. One way to help you see the benefits of this is to imagine you are a guest at your own funeral. What would you like to be remembered for? How do you hope your loved ones would sum up your life? What would you want your legacy to be? I hope all of your answers to these questions would be good ones. If they aren’t, it isn’t too late to get busy correcting them. No matter where you are relative to that ideal ending to your body of work, they key is to remember the signs.

Here’s your sign

For most of us, the principal signs are our purpose, our gifts and our relationships. Understanding why you are alive will animate your decisions — what you say yes to and what you refuse. Your gifts are the tools to help you fulfill your purpose and complete your mission over the course of your life. And your relationships provide the context, the teachers and the teammates for your life’s work. So, how do you know if you’re on track?

Go to the mirror, boy

I believe in working on strengths is more productive than focusing on weaknesses. Even so, there are some weaknesses one should work to overcome. In these cases, being willing to confront the need honestly — and calling it by its real name — is the first step to vanquishing it.

If you’re stuck, ask yourself what’s holding you back. If it’s fear, admit it and attack it. Have the difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding. Ask her out. If it’s ignorance or lack of skills, devise a plan and devote the time to do the work and — this is important — measure your progress. Keep a log. Don’t fudge.

Long before he was an action hero, or the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was a bodybuilder. On his way to domination of that field, he was dissatisfied with his underdeveloped calf muscles, so he cut off the legs of his sweatpants so everyone would see those puny calves. This motivated him to train them harder, and his fame in bodybuilding set the table for his subsequent careers in movies, politics and movies again.

A little help from my friends

Part of the benefit of relationships is the opportunity to hear the truth from people who love you. A genuine compliment is great, but sincere constructive criticism is even more valuable to defeat self-deception.

An executive I know just subjected himself to a 360-degree review — a management tool where one’s peers, superior(s), and subordinates offer candid critiques of a colleague in order to reinforce what he is doing right, but also to point out those deficiencies that hinder his performance. This process is not for the squeamish or the easily offended, but it can be just the tonic needed to deliver a man from his self-deception. I’ve already seen my colleague make some significant changes as a result of this process. I hope he’ll continue improving.

The kindness of the surgeon — and Simon Cowell

Nobody I know enjoys criticism, but if you trust the motives of your critics, their words can save you years of frustration. The concept, as we’ve discussed before, is understanding the difference between what hurts you and what harms you. Even with modern anesthesia, surgery hurts. But, the purpose of surgery is to heal, not harm. The pain is unfortunate, but necessary, to accomplish the ultimate goal. Criticism can also sting but ultimately it can benefit you.

I haven’t spent much time watching “American Idol,” but I always marveled at the audition episodes. Candidate after candidate would walk confidently into the room, open his or her mouth and — stink the place up. Simon Cowell (God bless him!) would interrupt the embarrassing spectacle and tell the would-be performer that he or she simply could not sing. The most deluded would then have the gall to argue with Cowell regarding his lack of discernment regarding their “talent.”

May God give us ears to hear when we’re off-pitch — and friends to tell us the unpleasant truth when we can’t hear it for ourselves.

So how about you? How are you examining your purpose, your gifts and your relationships to determine whether or not you’re on course? Add your comments below.

*The fourth book in the series by copyright and publication date. Lewis wrote the books out of sequence relative to Narnian time, and toward the end of his life defended the publication order as the correct order for the reader.

“Then he taught me, and he said to me, ‘Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Cherish her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will give you a garland to grace your head and present you with a glorious crown.’” – Proverbs 4:4-9 (NIV)

Over the weekend, I took Mrs. Booth to see the movie Hacksaw Ridge — the true story of World War II Army medic Desmond Doss. It is as frank in its depiction of combat and human destruction as anything I’ve seen since Saving Private Ryan, and it is also the most uplifting story I may have ever seen.

Meet Desmond Doss

The facts of Desmond Doss’s life are a matter of history. A devout Christian and a pacifist raised in the hills around Lynchburg,VA, volunteers to serve in World War II. His convictions forbid him to even handle a gun, so he enlists with the purpose of becoming a combat medic.

Medal of Honor Recipient Cpl. Desmond T. Doss (photo courtesy of the Desmond Doss Council)

Assigned to Fort Jackson, SC, Doss finds himself in a rifle battalion, where his officers and his fellow soldiers accuse him of cowardice and harass him trying to hound him out of the Army — even subjecting him to a court-martial for refusing a direct order to handle a weapon. But Private Doss didn’t waver in his faith or go along to get along to make the trouble go away.

Desmond Doss and his battalion saw combat in the Pacific, ultimately participating in the bloodiest battle of that theater — the battle for Okinawa, set atop a 400-foot cliff known as the escarpment. Desmond Doss did not carry a weapon into that carnage — only his Bible and his faith. When the enemy counter-attacked, the Americans retreated from the top of the escarpment — all of them except Desmond Doss. And he single-handedly rescued at least 75 wounded men, retrieving their broken bodies while under hostile fire, moving within yards of enemy soldiers. As he tended each soldier, he carried each man to the edge of the cliff lowering him into US hands.

Who is this guy?

The movie does a good job of conveying that it was Desmond’s faith in God, and his desire to please God that motivated him to resist the taking of life, but that also motivated him to serve. When the war began, Desmond was eligible for a deferral based on his work in a naval shipyard. He felt it was his duty to serve, so he chose the more difficult path of honor.

And during the night as he lowered his wounded comrades away from danger, he prayed through his fatigue: “Lord, let me get just one more.” I wondered if this was simply Hollywood gloss, but in a documentary titled The Conscientious Objector, Desmond Doss explains that this was indeed his prayer.

The takeaways from “Hacksaw Ridge”

I hope you’ll see the movie, but if not, here are the main takeaways I left with:

1. We need stories. As we’ve discussed before, there’s much less benefit to telling a man to “Man up,” than there is in telling a story of a man who was willing to put principle ahead of his own comfort.
2. We need heroes. Too many people we enshrine as heroes will let you down if you study them closely enough. Here, at least, is one case, where a man walked unarmed into Hell to save his fellow-man. He even provided care to some wounded Japanese soldiers. The fact that one man was able to do this inspires me to aim higher.
3. Freedom of conscience is necessary — and expensive. Just to have the right to go into combat — unarmed — with is battalion Doss had to suffer the insults, the beatings, the extra duty, and the mischaracterization of his motives.
4. Even when you’re right, sometimes you have to absorb the hit. Conscientious objectors like those practicing civil disobedience have the right to express themselves. And defying authority usually brings consequences. Doss never lashed out at the unfair treatment he received. He stuck to his principles and trusted God to work it out.
5. One man can make a difference. Desmond Doss’s devotion to God and country impelled him toward danger again and again. As a result, 75 men who almost certainly would have died of their wounds or been finished off by the enemy lived.

The rest of the story

Desmond Doss sustained multiple wounds from enemy snipers and grenades. Even when it was his turn to be carried from the battlefield, he insisted that a more critically wounded soldier be carried on the stretcher he occupied at the time. For his most conspicuous gallantry and willingness to put himself in harm’s way for his fellow soldiers, Corporal Desmond Doss received the Congressional Medal of Honor — the first conscientious objector to receive the nation’s highest military honor.Desmond Doss had numerous health problems resulting from his wounds, but he lived well into old age giving honor to God.

A lot of times, a movie based on a true story takes liberties to make it seem better. In the case of Desmond Doss, the truth is even better than Hollywood, as I hope you’ll see.

So how about you? What stories make you want to be a better man? Add your comments below.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” – Proverbs 27:6 (ESV)

The story I’m about to tell you is true. While I am not particularly proud of certain aspects of this story, I think it has a happy enough ending, as well as a useful moral, so I’m willing to live with the discomfort. If you are a student or you are launching your working life, I hope my telling you this story will help you find the motivation to do your best work now.

When I graduated college back in the last century, it was late in May. When I received my diploma, I had not yet secured that all important J-O-B, despite interviews and even some call backs from some well-known companies still in business today. Through contacting friends of friends, I eventually landed an entry-level sales job with a textile machinery manufacturer in a nearby small city. It was more exciting than frightening — and even though I knew absolutely nothing about textile machinery, I had sold everything from Christmas cards to cogs to clothing while I was growing up. How hard could it be?

Want treasure later? Hit the books today.
(Photo by Glen Noble)

After college, the real education begins

Through the grapevine,  I knew that many of my classmates were working in the big city, and that their starting salaries were about 20% higher than mine. I didn’t care, because I had a degree, a job, a car (a ’69 VW Beetle with a fuel leak) and my own apartment. The first lessons were hard ones. “Real” life as an adult doesn’t operate by the rules that govern campus life, and the range of appropriate self-expression in the workplace is more narrow and well-defined. (I’m telling you this so you’ll have a clue when you get there.)

On top of the cultural lessons, there were the business lessons. Companies don’t simply “have” money. If they are selling products and services, they have some coming in, but if the amount coming in isn’t greater than the sum of expenses, they won’t be in business long. For this reason, a company can’t simply decide to pay its employees more, nor does a company always have the option of raising prices. Usually, a company’s best path out of trouble is to increase sales while reducing expenses. If the former doesn’t happen, people who aren’t the owners or related to the owners will find their hours curtailed or their positions eliminated to accomplish the latter. I have never forgotten this — and I want you to know and understand it.

Then there were the personal lessons. I had a vague idea about how the whole paying bills thing worked, so I dove into it headlong. I was never late on my student loans, my car payment, or my rent, but without a budget, I often found myself with month left over at the end of the money. Oh, and early on I didn’t understand that I was supposed to have the electricity switched over from the apartment complex to me, so I did come home from work one evening to find I had no power.

So, there I was — a single man in a small town with no friends nearby and nearly no experience in a tough industry.  The one grace of that first year was that my company expected me to be on the road making sales calls during the week. As long as I was doing that, I had food to supplement my meager groceries and I received mileage reimbursement to cover the wear and tear on the new car I bought. Still, it was tough.

Connecting the dots

I recall being at home in my shabby apartment one evening, eating barbecued Spam. (And if you only know that word as another name for junk email, click here. In certain parts of Polynesia it’s considered a delicacy.) I thought to myself, “This sucks.” I remembered the interviews with the big-name companies where the recruiters told me they were looking for the top 10% of the class, the captain of the football team and the president of the fraternity – in other words, not me. I also thought back over the squandered opportunities to study longer, dig deeper and learn more. At the time, I didn’t see how excelling in the classroom would correlate to my standard of living so soon after graduation.

Cue the flashback

And I thought back to that afternoon late in my senior year. The college had posted the list of inductees into Phi Beta Kappa — the premier academic honor society —  and I didn’t make the cut. I don’t mind telling you, I wasn’t anywhere close. I knew this. At lunch, a fraternity brother a year behind me expressed surprise that I wasn’t on the list. I thought he was mocking me. He assured me he wasn’t. I laughed ruefully and we dropped it.

Later that afternoon I swung by to see my major adviser and told him the story. Offhandedly, I said how unlikely it would have been for me to receive such an honor. What he said has stuck with me ever since:

“You could have been Phi Beta Kappa. Why not? Your problem is not with your head; it’s with your (posterior). If you only knew how frustrating it is to read a better paper from you than any others I get and to know that you haven’t done the reading, the WORK. The only reason you aren’t Phi Beta Kappa is YOU.”

I was mortified and felt sick to my stomach. For one thing, I admired my professor a great deal (I still do) and wanted his approval. I didn’t expect such an endorsement of capability to come wrapped in such a thermonuclear truth-bomb. But alone, months later over my plate of spam, I saw that he was right. I had no plans to go to graduate school — and certainly no money for it — but I remember saying out loud, “If I ever go back to school, I’m going to work so hard…”

I guess I was praying after all

A short time later, my employer sent me to meet with a textile research institute to talk to them about our product line and the philosophy behind our approach. I had two names to ask for — the first was out of town, but the second one agreed to meet with me.

We spent two-and-a-half hours with him asking me questions and me answering them. As our meeting wound down, he asked where I had learned about textiles and textile processing. “On the job, ” I said. He asked if I had graduated college and what sort of grades I had made. I told the truth. To my surprise, he asked if I had ever thought about graduate school. I told him I had, but that I couldn’t afford it.

He told me that every student at the institute was there on a graduate fellowship that covered tuition, books and fees, and that the fellowship included a stipend. As a result the program was very competitive. He said based on our discussion that he wanted to encourage me to apply. If I’d do that, he said he could guarantee I’d be invited for an interview. And if I conducted myself in the interview the way I had in our meeting, he was over 90% sure I’d be accepted. It was a miracle.

How did it turn out?

I’ve gone on too long already, but to sum up: I did apply, I did get an interview and I did receive a fellowship. And yes I worked so hard. I was a much better student in graduate school than I was in college. And I had three offers from top-notch companies. You can learn from my experience. Do the work now. It will pay off.

So how about you? What steps are you taking now to work for your future? Add your comments below.