If the crass commercialization of the season has tempted you to hate Christmas like a certain Dr. Seuss character, I’d like to share with you a practice that has helped my family and me get back to the heart of Christmas.

I first heard Pastor Rick McKinley several years ago on a podcast, talking about an initiative he had started at the church he leads — Imago Dei Community in Portland, Oregon.  He called it “The Advent Conspiracy,” and it was designed to be an antidote to the consumerism that had overtaken the original message of Christmas.

Stated simply, The Advent Conspiracy consists of four ideas:

1. Worship fully
2. Spend less
3. Give more
4. Love all

Worship Fully

The true meaning of Christmas — the inescapable origin of the season — is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.  Where we’ve gone wrong is that we’ve allowed ourselves to become dull, relegating Jesus to the category of ancient history.

But what if we were to think about the significance of Jesus more deeply?  Consider that God made a perfect world and set humanity at the top of  the created order.  Not long after this, humanity rebelled and rejected God’s authority, bringing about God’s righteous judgment.  Sickness, death and every kind of heartache resulted from this betrayal on our part.

God could have scrapped the whole project, but since his very nature is love, He chose a people for Himself and made them a great nation.  He gave them His law to indicate they were His people, and he sent them prophets, leaders and teachers to communicate His will to them.  And when the time was right, this loving God took on human flesh — leaving the splendor of Heaven — and chose to be born into the world he created as a helpless baby.  The coming near of God and the establishment of His kingdom on earth — the hope for all humanity — is what we celebrate at Christmas.  This is why we worship for all we’re worth.

Spend Less

From the time our sons were babies, we’ve always had a budget for Christmas and stuck to it. Even so, since we’ve adopted the Advent Conspiracy, we’ve sought to spend less for gifts while increasing the value of each one.  Part of this is to designate ten percent of our Christmas budget to benevolence — that is, making it a point to do a kindness to those who have less.  Another part is to manage our expectations and intentionally limit the size of our Christmas budget.

Give more

It seems like an oxymoron to spend less and give more, but there is a way.  McKinley calls it giving presence, rather than presents.  With this idea, our gifts to family members and each other are more thoughtful and involve an experience more than an object.  For example, a few Christmases ago, my younger son gave me a deep-winter backpacking weekend.  What a splendid gift!  We shared a weekend of father-son time and made great memories.

The gift of presence is, more than anything, taking the time to give a gift that says, “I get you.  I know you.”  In this case, it really is the thought that counts.

Love All

In the same way God showed His love for the whole world in sending His son,  we look for ways to make Christmas — and life —  better for others.  Our church helps sponsor a Christmas Village Toy Store that sells new, donated toys at a steep discount to disadvantaged families so they can have the dignity of giving gifts to their own children.  The church also takes up a special Christmas Eve offering to help spread the Good News of Jesus around the world.  If you’re not affiliated with a church, you can contribute to the Salvation Army, or send Christmas cheer to kids via Operation Christmas Child.

The subtitle of the book The Advent Conspiracy is “Can Christmas Still Change The World?” I believe it can — and it starts with you and me.  A joyous Advent to you.

So how about you?  In what ways are you recovering the joy and meaning of Christmas? Add your comments below.

Note: I have taken a sabbatical from writing new posts to enable me to focus on family and work matters, but I am committed to keep this site up and running. Meanwhile, I read and respond to all comments and correspondence. I’ll resume regular publishing of new content in January.

In honor of Veterans Day, a heartfelt word of thanks to all of you who have served or are serving in America’s armed forces.  Thank you for your willingness to train, to suffer hardship, to experience separation from your loved ones, and to put your life at risk for your countrymen.

My late father-in-law was a veteran of World War II,  He was one of four brothers, all of whom were drafted away from their family farm in rural Tennessee.

After completing his training, he became a Technical Sergeant in the Army Air Corps — the precursor to the US Air Force.   His responsibilities included making in-flight repairs and serving as a waist gunner aboard a B-24 Liberator bomber in the European theater, as part of the Mighty Eighth Air Force.

Like many men of his generation, he rarely talked about his experiences during the war, downplaying the danger and his role.  “It was late in the war by the time I got over there,” he always said.   Once when my grandmother asked if he had ever been to Germany, he gave a slight smile and said, “No, but I’ve been over it.”

Following the war, he returned to the farm for a while before enrolling in Tennessee Tech on the GI Bill.  Following his graduation from college, he earned a doctorate in agronomy and genetics from the University of Wisconsin.

With his PhD, he took a position as a research agronomist with the US Department of Agriculture and was assigned to a research station at a large state university.  He worked there the rest of his career, developing numerous soybean cultivars that fed millions and teaching graduate students from around the world.

As distinguished as his career was, he was also a devoted husband and father, raising my wife and her siblings in a godly household.

Over the past dozen years or so, we have seen popular sentiment regarding military service return to an appropriate level of respect and gratitude.  This is as it should be.

At the same time, I hear and read some people saying that the US is no longer worthy of such devotion or service.  I am not here to argue for or against — especially not with those who have served.  On this occasion, however, I want to commend those who, like my father-in-law, saw their duty, did it and came home to build an exemplary life.  This is still a county that produces such men.  That is worth preserving.

So how about you?   What lessons did you learn from your own military service, or that of your friends or family members?  How are you using that wisdom to be your best?  Add your comments below.

“Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.
– Proverbs 22: 29 (ESV)

When I was a graduate student, the Institute had a series of guest lectures intended to enhance and broaden our thinking.  Attendance was mandatory.

I can’t recall all the topics, but they ranged from Creativity to Ethics to building a successful career.  It’s this last that I want to share with you.

This one goes up to 12! Crank up your career by learning from the ones who went before you.

Dr. Louis T. Rader held a doctorate in electrical engineering and was retired from General Electric.  Following his retirement from GE, he taught in the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business.

His dress was conservative and his manner of speech was direct, and he had what military veterans would call command presence.  His no-nonsense demeanor and delivery, however, belied the wit that made his words to us that day so memorable.

He spoke to us for some time about his own experiences as a young manager and then he shared some principles for career success he called “Rader’s Rules.”  Here, to the best of my memory, is what he offered us:

1.  Never run out of money — it’s a quick way to lose confidence.

2.  There can be no compromise between a poor player and a great organization.

3.  Good calculus won’t cover poor math.

4. If you play games with people, people will play games with you.

5. The sum of all expenses must be less than the sum of all revenues.

6.  The man who goes to bed early to save the cost of a candle will wake up the father of twins.

7.  It’s hard to lead a large organization from a subordinate position.

8. As long as you remain in neutral, you can only go where you’re pushed.

9. You can’t sell the second if you can’t sell the first.

10. When the quarterback says go around left end, you go around left end.

11. Anybody off the street can run a business at a loss.

12. Statistics are for losers.

13. If you don’t get the facts, the facts will get you.

This is an incomplete listing, but I offer this as food for thought for you.  If you are in the early years of your career, or are seeking to begin it, there is great wisdom in these eight phrases.  So much wisdom, in fact, I continue to apply these axioms as I continue to navigate my career decades in.

Please note the theme of integrity that runs through these sayings.  Each of us owes it to himself and to his employer to view himself, the company where he works and his circumstances clearly.  As famed stage magician Teller says, “The biggest lie is the one you tell yourself.”

Note also the emphasis on getting the fundamentals down.  Your talent may get you into a meeting, but a weak handshake or a lack of eye contact may sink your chances.  Or to use another example, you may have gotten the order, but is it profitable?

My personal favorite is rule number 6.  Taking shortcuts or falling for the false economy invariably creates unintended consequences that cost more in the long run.

I hope these will stick with you the way they have with me.

So how about you?  What’s the best career advice you’ve received?  Add your comments below.

Note: A hat tip to Walter Curt, a former associate of Dr. Rader’s for providing some more of Rader’s Rules.

“Well begun is half done.” – Aristotle

Throughout my life, I’ve found that I begin new tasks with great gusto. This is a good thing, and I have learned to take advantage of my enthusiasm to create momentum that will help carry me through the eventual letdown. The particulars vary from project to project, but it’s usually the result of higher-than-expected costs, missing parts, or delays. When the slog hits, it’s critically important to have built in some incentives to help keep your motivation and to keep you on track.

Wisdom from the ancient world

I’ve always liked the quotation above from Aristotle. For most of my existence, I’ve taken it to mean that a strong start is a great advantage. This is just one of the axioms I refer to to help me overcome procrastination — to begin now — especially on those difficult or unpleasant chores. But there’s another way to interpret it: a strong beginning is only half the battle. You and I are bound to run into what is known as the “muddle in the middle.”

This is true of books, blog posts, product launches — and it’s also true of life.

Solomon sacrifices his lineage on the altar of an idol — Don’t be that guy

Enter King Solomon

Let’s look at King Solomon to illustrate what I mean. Frequent readers will know that I refer often to the biblical book of Proverbs — written primarily by Solomon, the son of King David, who succeeded his father on the throne of ancient Israel. As king, Solomon was unparalleled. He was wise and wealthy because God had blessed him from the beginning of his reign.

In addition to these gifts, God chose Solomon to build the temple in Jerusalem — the center of worship for God’s chosen people. And his body of work also included three books of the Bible — part of the Bible’s wisdom literature — Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and the Song of Solomon. Clearly Solomon had an enviable collection of skills and used them to accomplish many good and enduring things.

It didn’t end well

However, as he grew comfortable in his achievements, apparently, Solomon became complacent. In the following passage from 1 Kings, Chapter 11, we see that Solomon squandered something essential:

King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.  He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray. As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. He followed Ashtoreth the goddess of the Sidonians, and Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. So Solomon did evil in the eyes of the Lord; he did not follow the Lord completely, as David his father had done.

On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites. He did the same for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and offered sacrifices to their gods.

The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lord’s command. So the Lord said to Solomon, “Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen.”

What went wrong?

Notice the telltale signs. Like his father before him, Solomon got his head turned because of his sexual appetite. Despite God’s direct instruction to the contrary, he amassed a harem of 1,000 women — most from the idol-worshiping folk Solomon’s ancestors had conquered to inhabit the land of promise.

As I wrote in an earlier two-part post titled, “When You Marry a Mountain Girl, You Marry the Mountain,” you’re going to adopt the ways of the people you spend time with — this is especially true of one’s spouse. This is another reason it’s better to marry someone with similar beliefs and values. Failure to do this results in what the Bible calls “being unequally yoked.” In agricultural terms unequally yoked animals couldn’t  plow straight, as the stronger animal would always pull the weaker in its direction. In Solomon’s case, his wandering eye resulted in a wandering heart that worshiped inert idols in place of the living God. This ultimately led to the destruction of the temple Solomon built, but also to the captivity of God’s people.

How to avoid foolishness and failure

The objective here is to be a faithful steward of the gift that is your life. This means you don’t want to peak in high school, and it also means you don’t want to put it in neutral once you hit 50, 60, 70, whatever. To finish your life strong and satisfied, here’s what I recommend:

Begin with the end in mind – The late Stephen Covey coined this phrase in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People.  Having a mission — a purpose with a desired outcome — in front of you is paramount. It’s a challenge to remain as motivated at the end of your shift as you are when you clock in, but having a mission makes it easier. Notice that Solomon’s resolve weakened as he got older.

Count the cost – The funniest and yet saddest episodes of the TV show “American Idol” are the ones featuring the deluded contestants who swear they can sing — the judges just aren’t being fair. If you want to be a professional musician, you have to put in the time in solitary practice. The 10,000-hour rule is no joke — and you can only spend those hours on one thing, not multiple things. This is the definition of opportunity cost. What are you willing to do without to achieve at your peak? It’s your life, so do be honest with yourself.

Stay connected to your power source – To be the best possible version of yourself you need to be working at the intersection of your Passion, Purpose, and Potential. This is a quest, and it is easier for some than for others, but the effort is worth it. God made you and He knows His plans for you. Get out your spiritual shovel and dig with your eyes open. Don’t get discouraged if you have to do some living before it snaps into focus. It’s all training if you’re legitimately seeking. And when you find it, you’ll have to pray, study and reflect — alone and with others —  to stay on track.

Stay fresh – I know I’ve said it before: You’re either green and growing or you’re ripe and rotting. Are you an expert? A virtuoso? Not yet? You still have those challenges in front of you. If you are an expert or a virtuoso, consider the challenge of teaching what you’ve learned to other people. There’s always more to learn, more to do — and if you’re not dead, you’re not done.

Get some rest – Take care of your body by exercising, eating right, drinking plenty of water, and getting enough sleep.

Get your mind right – The body goes where the head goes. Competitive divers learn this to enter the water with that minimal splash the judges reward. It’s the same in life. And we’ve talked about it before: thoughts lead to feelings; feelings lead to behaviors. If you’re not impaired, you can choose what to think about — good or bad.

But sometimes you’re vulnerable. Then what? As Dr. Charles Stanley advises, use the H.A.L.T. method to avoid giving in to the temptation to foolishness — whatever form that takes for you. Don’t do anything when you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Whether you’re tempted by an unlocked door, an unwholesome relationship, a bottle, a smoke, or a plate of fries, it’s much easier to resist when you recognize when and where your defenses are at their lowest, and you can see the larger goal beyond the moment.

Is it hopeless if I’ve wrecked it?

Not at all. If you live to tell the tale, you can still finish well. If you need a refresher on Grace and forgiveness or if the whole idea is new to you, you can read about it here. Your Father in Heaven made you, and He — with all His faithful ones — is cheering you on. You can be clean. You can be His. You can be faithful in fulfilling your mission and finish strong.

So how about you? What steps are you taking now to finish well. Encourage your brothers by declaring it below.

Men:  We have to talk about sex. If there’s one area where this generation is stuck, this is it.

The Water Was Dirty Before You Got In

Now, before you conclude that I’m pointing my finger at you, please realize that the Boomer cohort gave us the sexual revolution and rampant divorce, and the Gen X cohort was equally careless about sex and marriage.  But it’s even worse than that.  These are the guys who grew up to convince you that everyone but you was sexually active, to urge the women you know to emulate the worst of promiscuous men, and to offer you pornography pretty much anywhere and anytime — and all so they could separate you from your money.  If you want poor examples, the generations ahead of you are shot through with them.

Applying wisdom — that’s a horse of a different color!

So if you’re a typical American male, you were probably exposed to pornography somewhere around age ten.  But even if you didn’t see any sexually explicit magazines, videos or websites in your youth, you’ve been awash in a culture that has turned sex into a commodity devoid of any spiritual significance.  As a man who has spent much of his career in and around sales, I say it’s lazy to use sex to sell.  As bad as that is, it’s worse to be so checked out that you allow it to influence you.  There is a better way.

Meet King Solomon

In the Old Testament (that’s the first 39 books of the Bible), we meet a king named Solomon.  He was the son of King David and Bathsheba (there’s a story about the misuse of sex, right there).  When Solomon succeeded his father as the king of Israel, God told Solomon to ask him for anything.  In reply, Solomon asked for wisdom to govern God’s people.  This pleased God and he promised Solomon that no one would be wiser or more honored than he.

In addition to building the Temple in Jerusalem, Solomon reportedly had 1,000 wives and concubines.  (Here I should point out that just because the Bible describes something, it does not prescribe it.)  Solomon is also credited with several books of the Bible — Ecclesiastes, The Song of Solomon, and Proverbs.  And that brings us to the purpose of this post.

In Proverbs 5 Solomon writes this:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

incline your ear to my understanding,

that you may keep discretion,

and your lips may guard knowledge.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil,

but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death;

her steps follow the path to Sheol;

she does not ponder the path of life;

her ways wander, and she does not know it.

And now, O sons, listen to me,

and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Keep your way far from her,

and do not go near the door of her house,

lest you give your honor to others

and your years to the merciless,

lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

and at the end of your life you groan,

when your flesh and body are consumed,

and you say, “How I hated discipline,

and my heart despised reproof!

I did not listen to the voice of my teachers

or incline my ear to my instructors.”

Be the Gatekeeper

What Difference Does It Make?

The Rest of The Story

It Isn’t Easy

So how about you?  How are you applying God’s wisdom to help you lead a chaste life?  Add your comments below.

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
-Romans 12:18 (ESV)

In Rock Hill, South Carolina, a judge recently vacated the sentences of nine civil rights activists who were arrested and convicted in the 1960’s. Their crime was sitting at the same lunch counter as whites in a local five and dime store — a violation of the Jim Crow laws of the time that demanded separation of the races.

Although it took more than 50 years for this injustice to be overturned in the court system, the Friendship Nine as they are known have been hailed as civil rights pioneers and lauded for their courage and willingness to confront the immorality of racial segregation — even though it cost them.

“..the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.” Stand out anyway.

There will come a time in your life when you will recognize that something isn’t right.  You’ll think to yourself, or say aloud, “Somebody ought to do something.”  And then you’ll realize — “It’s got to be me.”

When that moment comes, will you be ready to accept the challenge?  Here’s a sonnet from the poetry corner:

Stand

There comes a time to stand for what you know
To be the right, whatever be the cost.
Then get you up to speak, or do, or go
To fill some gaping breach, though you be tossed
From wave to towering wave, while dervish winds
Pull sail from yard, and blind your eyes with spray.
Do what you must; go fight beside your friends;
Do what you can, and more; go seize the day.
Fear not the foe, and damn the shores alee.
To win the fight, you must run to the van.
The valiant prisoner’s heart may yet be free;
The coward’s heart is chained, and never can.
Go fight your fight; you must do what you ought.
It’s better fought and lost than never fought.”
– Mark Lukey

Speaking out against powerful people and their interests is not without cost or consequences. Take note of that old Japanese proverb, “The nail that sticks up gets beaten down.”  When Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. engaged in civil disobedience, he understood that his breaking of unjust laws would still result in his going to jail. He did it anyway.

Likewise, if you are called to raise your hand or your voice against some wrong, you shouldn’t be surprised should you encounter opposition.  No one can guarantee your success or assure your safety. Our society is as polarized as I have ever seen, and the lengths to which some people will go over mere differences of opinion is still surprising to me.

Even so, we must not allow ourselves to be cowed into silence. There really is such a thing as evil in the world and, as Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Whatever battle we’re called to, let’s prepare ourselves to do the right thing.

So how about you? What conversation or issue have you been avoiding? Haul it out into the daylight, kiss it on the mouth and watch it die. Add your comments below.

Note: I’m re-running this post in honor and memory of Mr. James Wells — one of the Friendship Nine — who died Sunday, July 8, at age 77.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
– Colossians 3:23 – 24 (NIV)

Here’s a trip back to the poetry corner.  If you’re discouraged about the kind of work that’s available to you currently, you might find this helpful.  Here’s cowboy poet Red Steagall:

Shorty was here

The Fence That Me and Shorty Built

We’d picked up all the fencing tools
And staples off the road
An extra roll of “bob” wire
Was the last thing left to load

I drew a sleeve across my face
To wipe away the dirt
The young man who was helping me
Was tuckin’ in his shirt

I turned around to him and said,
“This fence is finally done
With five new strands of ‘bob’ wire
Shinin’ proudly in the sun

The wire is runnin’ straight and tight
With every post in line
The kinda job you’re proud of
One that stands the test of time.”

The kid was not impressed at all
He stared off into space
Reminded me of years ago
Another time and place

When I called myself a cowboy
I was full of buck and bawl
I didn’t think my hands would fit
Post augers and a maul

They sent me out with Shorty
And the ranch fence building crew
Well, I was quite insulted
And before the day was through

I let him know that I’m a cowboy
This ain’t what I do
I ain’t no dadgummed nester
I hired out to buckaroo

He said, “We’ll talk about that son
When we get in tonight
Right now you pick them augers up
It’s either that or fight.”

Boy I was diggin’ post holes
Faster than a Georgia mole
But if a rock got in my way
Well I simply moved the hole

So when the cowboys set the posts
The line went in and out
Old Shorty’s face got fiery red
And I can hear him shout

But one thing that I always got
From any job I’ve done
Is do the best I can each day
And try to make it fun

I know that bustin’ through them rocks
Ain’t what you like to do
By gettin’ mad you’ve made it tough
On me and the whole crew

Now you hired on to cowboy
And you think you’ve got the stuff
You told him you’re a good hand
And the boss has called your bluff

So how’s that gonna make you look
When he comes ridin’ through
And he asks me who dug the holes
and I say it was you

Now we could let it go like this
And take the easy route
But doin’ things the easy way
Ain’t what it’s all about

The boss expects a job well done
From every man he’s hired
He’ll let you slide by once or twice
Then one day you’ll get fired

If you’re not proud of what you do
You won’t amount to much
You’ll bounce around from job to job
Just slightly out of touch

Come mornin’ let’s redig those holes
And get that fence in line
And you and I will save two jobs
Those bein’ yours and mine

And someday you’ll come ridin’ through
And look across this land
And see a fence that’s laid out straight
And know you had a hand

In something that’s withstood the years
Then proud and free from guilt
You’ll smile and say, ‘Boys that’s the fence
That me and Shorty built’.”

– Red Steagall

Your work is a witness for you or against you.  Commit to doing your best and you can be proud of what your work says about you.

By the way, if you’d like to hear Red Steagall recite this poem, you can watch it here.

So how about you?  How are you remaining engaged and striving to give your best in your current job? Add your comments below.

“Thank you, the phrase, ‘the greatest thing since sliced bread,’ for making me seriously wonder who’s in charge of deciding what the greatest thing is.” – Jimmy Fallon

I’m sure you received a lot of nice gifts for Christmas this year.  If you want to stand out as a man — to be the best version of yourself possible — take the time to sit down and write thank you notes to the ones who gave you those gifts.  Not only is expressing gratitude the right thing to do, sending thank you notes displays genuine old-school manners — the kind a gentleman should always show.

Take note! There will be a test later

So how about you?  In what ways do you intend to become a better note writer in the coming year?  Add your comments below.

“Nothing comes from nothing. Nothing ever could” — Richard Rogers (“Something Good”)

“Not the Baby Jesus Play Set!”

• Making memories and sharing experiences that strengthen bonds — Recalling good times brings kind and affectionate feelings to the fore, making family dynamics more peaceful.
• Establishing and reinforcing family identity — We know and embrace our own by the practices and beliefs we share.  It’s called the family circle for a reason.
• Creating a sense of home — The songs we sing, the foods we eat together, the smells of the season are powerful reminders that there is a place in the world where you’re loved, accepted and always welcome.
• Reinforcing our values — It’s very hard to separate who we are from what we do. The things we hold in high regard become obvious according to the ways we allocate our time and resources.
• Generating stories and family lore — This is the birthplace of great tales of running jokes that go on for decades.  I suspect my sons will someday say to their children regarding the manger scenes in their homes: “It’s not the Baby Jesus Play Set!”  As you can see, not all traditions are created on purpose — that’s where those great stories come from.

• As I mentioned above, we have a crèche that we set out at the start of Advent.  It was pretty much just Jesus, Mary and Joseph at first, but over the past several years, we’ve added a new figure each year.  The Three Wise Men came as a set, though.
• We always attend our church’s Christmas Eve service.  At the service there’s a special offering for a worthwhile ministry effort and we always plan beforehand how much to give.
• For the past several years, we’ve gone out to dinner following the Christmas Eve service to enjoy a feast of Peking Duck.  Perhaps the movie “A Christmas Story” (another tradition) may have influenced this choice, but it gives our kitchen the night off before a day of heavy use.  The crisp skin of Peking Duck — and even the thought of it — makes me think of Christmas.
• When we return home following the meal, we all bring the presents we’re giving and place them under the tree.  None appear there before — it’s a tradition we’ve kept since even before we implemented The Advent Conspiracy.
• This is followed by the hanging of Christmas stockings, some photographs and — in spite of all good sense — a late bedtime.

So how about you?  What are some of your favorite Christmas traditions?  Add your comments below.

Men:  We have to talk about sex. If there’s one area where this generation is stuck, this is it.

The Water Was Dirty Before You Got In

Now, before you conclude that I’m pointing my finger at you, please realize that the Boomer cohort gave us the sexual revolution and rampant divorce, and the Gen X cohort was equally careless about sex and marriage.  But it’s even worse than that.  These are the guys who grew up to convince you that everyone but you was sexually active, to urge the women you know to emulate the worst of promiscuous men, and to offer you pornography pretty much anywhere and anytime — and all so they could separate you from your money.  If you want poor examples, the generations ahead of you are shot through with them.

Applying wisdom — that’s a horse of a different color!

So if you’re a typical American male, you were probably exposed to pornography somewhere around age ten.  But even if you didn’t see any sexually explicit magazines, videos or websites in your youth, you’ve been awash in a culture that has turned sex into a commodity devoid of any spiritual significance.  As a man who has spent much of his career in and around sales, I say it’s lazy to use sex to sell.  As bad as that is, it’s worse to be so checked out that you allow it to influence you.  There is a better way.

Meet King Solomon

In the Old Testament (that’s the first 39 books of the Bible), we meet a king named Solomon.  He was the son of King David and Bathsheba (there’s a story about the misuse of sex, right there).  When Solomon succeeded his father as the king of Israel, God told Solomon to ask him for anything.  In reply, Solomon asked for wisdom to govern God’s people.  This pleased God and he promised Solomon that no one would be wiser or more honored than he.

In addition to building the Temple in Jerusalem, Solomon reportedly had 1,000 wives and concubines.  (Here I should point out that just because the Bible describes something, it does not prescribe it.)  Solomon is also credited with several books of the Bible — Ecclesiastes, The Song of Solomon, and Proverbs.  And that brings us to the purpose of this post.

In Proverbs 5 Solomon writes this:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

incline your ear to my understanding,

that you may keep discretion,

and your lips may guard knowledge.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil,

but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death;

her steps follow the path to Sheol;

she does not ponder the path of life;

her ways wander, and she does not know it.

And now, O sons, listen to me,

and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Keep your way far from her,

and do not go near the door of her house,

lest you give your honor to others

and your years to the merciless,

lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

and at the end of your life you groan,

when your flesh and body are consumed,

and you say, “How I hated discipline,

and my heart despised reproof!

I did not listen to the voice of my teachers

or incline my ear to my instructors.”

Be the Gatekeeper

What Difference Does It Make?

The Rest of The Story

It Isn’t Easy

So how about you?  How are you applying God’s wisdom to help you lead a chaste life?  Add your comments below.