{"id":2595,"date":"2018-10-11T03:09:50","date_gmt":"2018-10-11T03:09:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/?p=2595"},"modified":"2018-10-11T03:09:50","modified_gmt":"2018-10-11T03:09:50","slug":"re-post-eight-reasons-why-old-school-wedding-vows-are-the-best","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/?p=2595","title":{"rendered":"Re-post: Eight Reasons Why Old-School Wedding Vows Are The Best"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Rain and storm and dark skies<\/em>
\nWell now they don’t mean a thing<\/em>
\nIf you got a girl that loves you<\/em>
\nAnd who wants to wear your ring<\/em>
\nSo c’mon mister trouble<\/em>
\nWe’ll make it through you somehow<\/em>
\nWe’ll fill this house with all the love<\/em>
\nAll that heaven will allow”<\/em>
\n-Bruce Springsteen “All That Heaven Will Allow”<\/em><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have the privilege of attending a lot of wedding functions. \u00a0Many of my paying gigs are wedding receptions, and as a result I get to meet with brides and grooms and get to know them a little. \u00a0 Sometimes I get to offer recommendations regarding the reception. \u00a0So far nobody has asked me what I recommend in the way of wedding vows, but if they did, \u00a0I would absolutely recommend the traditional vows as they appear in the Book of Common Prayer<\/em>:<\/p>\n

\"George<\/a>

The priest is dead, the church burned down, the groom lost his hair, but they’re still in love and still married.<\/p><\/div>\n

The Declaration of Consent
\n<\/span><\/b>
\n<\/span>The Celebrant says to the woman
\n<\/span><\/i>
\nN.<\/i>, will you have this man to be your husband; to live
\ntogether in the covenant of marriage?\u00a0 Will you love him,
\ncomfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health;
\nand, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you
\nboth shall live?<\/span><\/p>\n

The Woman answers
\n<\/span><\/i>I will.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Celebrant says to the man<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

N.<\/i>, will you have this woman to be your wife; to live
\ntogether in the covenant of marriage?\u00a0 Will you love her,
\ncomfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health;
\nand, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you
\nboth shall live?<\/span><\/p>\n

The Man answers
\n<\/span><\/i>I will.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Marriage
\n<\/span><\/b>
\n<\/span>The Man, facing the woman and taking her right hand in his, says<\/span><\/i>
\n<\/span>
\n<\/span>In the Name of God, I,\u00a0N.<\/i>, take you,\u00a0N.<\/i>, to be my wife, to
\nhave and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse,
\nfor richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
\ncherish, until we are parted by death.\u00a0 This is my solemn vow.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then they loose their hands, and the Woman, still facing the man, takes
\nhis right hand in hers, and says<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

In the Name of God, I,\u00a0N.<\/i>, take you,\u00a0N.<\/i>, to be my husband,
\nto have and to hold from this day forward, for better for
\nworse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
\nand to cherish, until we are parted by death.\u00a0 This is my
\nsolemn vow.<\/span><\/p>\n

The loose their hands.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

The Priest may ask God’s blessing on a ring or rings as follows<\/p>\n

Bless, O Lord, this ring to be a sign of the vows by which
\nthis man and this woman have bound themselves to each
\nother; through Jesus Christ our Lord.\u00a0\u00a0Amen.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

The giver places the ring on the ring-finger of the other’s hand and says
\n<\/span><\/i>
\nN.<\/i>, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all
\nthat I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of
\nthe Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit (or<\/i>\u00a0in the
\nName of God).”<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

First things<\/span><\/h3>\n

Note first that these are vows — solemn promises made first to God, then to each other. \u00a0A covenant between the two of you and Almighty God is binding, so the words you speak are important. \u00a0I recommend that you and your fianc\u00e9e study them carefully and mean them when you say them to each other.<\/p>\n

Why old-school vows are the best<\/span><\/h3>\n

Did you think I forgot the purpose of this post? \u00a0Old-school wedding vows address eight important facets of what marriage is. Here’s my list — feel free to add your insights below:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n

    Consent <\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
      \n
    • — This is a big topic these days. \u00a0Traditional vows ask the woman first if she indeed agrees to take her fianc\u00e9 as her husband. \u00a0Then he gets to answer the same question regarding his intention to take her as his wife.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
    • \n

      Duties<\/strong> <\/span><\/h4>\n
        \n
      • – Each is to love, comfort, honor and keep the other. \u00a0He’s not getting a maid; she’s not getting a butler.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
      • \n

        Faithfulness<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
          \n
        • — Under Heaven, she is to be his highest priority, and he is to be hers. \u00a0God is joining you for His purposes and he means for you to remain devoted to each other. \u00a0No hall passes or elevator lists. \u00a0Nobody on the side.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
        • \n

          Personal<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
            \n
          • – Note the marriage\u00a0begins with “I, George, take you, Martha, to be my wife.” \u00a0The speaking of each other’s names and the choosing of each other verbally is powerful.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
          • \n

            Intimate<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
              \n
            • – “To have and to hold” refers to the importance of the marriage bed over the course of your \u00a0life together. \u00a0Notice this phrase appears twice in a very short span of time. \u00a0It’s that important.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
            • \n

              Exclusive<\/strong><\/h4>\n
                \n
              • – This is what “forsaking all others” means. \u00a0Husbands and wives are to look to each other for the deepest intimacy. \u00a0Nobody — not mom and dad, not the kids, not the pastor, not the boss, not former girlfriends, not current friends — is to come before the obligations to love and care for each other<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
              • \n

                Forever<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
                  \n
                • — “Until we are parted by death” or “As long as we both shall live<\/span><\/em><\/strong>,” as it is also sometimes said. \u00a0Please note: Some couples revise this to “As long as we both shall love<\/em>.” Barf! \u00a0This is essentially saying “I promise until I no longer promise.” \u00a0If you can’t commit for life, perhaps you shouldn’t get married.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n
                • \n

                  No matter what<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n
                    \n
                  • — Notice that the vows spell out the range of conditions a couple can experience — sickness and health; plenty and want; prosperity and adversity — and note that the expectation remains the same regardless of bank balance or blood pressure.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                    The big idea<\/span><\/h3>\n

                    If you believe that marriage is given as a sign of the relationship between Christ and the Church, the you can see that the love and devotion due one’s spouse is unconditional.<\/p>\n

                    Someone once asked me, “If you could have all that Heaven is — but without God, would you take it?” \u00a0I answered that a Heaven without God would be Hell itself. \u00a0It’s a great question for clarifying our motives.<\/p>\n

                    Traditional wedding vows are designed to get at a similar idea. \u00a0If health, money, looks, and all the fun dried up, would she be enough? \u00a0Would she think you’re enough? \u00a0 Anything other than a firm yes here spells trouble.<\/p>\n

                    When we perform for newlyweds, I nearly always tell them that marriage is hard work, but it’s worth it. \u00a0I stand by that. \u00a0If you and your beloved make solid vows and take them seriously, this will help you do the hard but worthwhile work of marriage.<\/p>\n

                    So how about you? What sort of vows do you plan to use for your wedding and why? \u00a0Add your comments below.<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                    “Rain and storm and dark skies Well now they don’t mean a thing If you got a girl that loves you And who wants to wear your ring So c’mon mister trouble We’ll make it through you somehow We’ll fill this house with all the love All that heaven will allow” -Bruce Springsteen “All That […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[11,13,96,187,343,18,55],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-excellence","category-faith","category-family","category-marriage","category-re-post","category-sexual-morality","category-wisdom"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2595"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2595\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2596,"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2595\/revisions\/2596"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.therealgeobooth.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}