OntozoanWild At Heart – Ontozoan

Re-post: Why You Need Your Question Answered

Geo. Booth — Thu, 31 May 2018 03:27:24 +0000

The crazy among us seek stimulation by creating drama

“Crazy is like glitter. It sticks to everything, gets everywhere, and you never get rid of it.” – Anonymous (or perhaps I said it first)

Over the past several posts we have been dealing with the primary emotional needs of Identity, Stimulation, and Security. Playwright-turned-anthropologist Robert Ardrey deserves the credit for identifying these three — and I hope you will read or re-read what I have written on the subject. You can start here or here.

In this post, I want to explore the relationship between Identity and Stimulation.

Insert Personality Here

Crazy

Despite human beings’ capacity for reason, we have abundant evidence that man is far from the rational creature he thinks himself to be. “What evidence,” you say? Look around. Why do women dye their hair colors not found in nature? Why do men wear socks with sandals — or jorts? Why do they grow long beards? Ask more than one and you’ll likely get an answer that is not any more complicated than, “I like it.” As answers go, this isn’t nonsense, but it is hardly empirical.

I submit to you that “liking it” is shorthand for “I want to be noticed.”

What’s crazy is refusing to analyze any behavior to see whether — or not — it makes sense. That is, does it lead in a positive direction? Or, said another way, “If I keep doing this, what will the results be in a year? In ten years? In twenty years?

An important announcement from the poetry corner. I have written a Haiku that helps to illustrate the point I’m trying to make. Here it is for your cultural enrichment:

Gen X Angst

Haiku writing youth

I’m a pierced nonconformist

Just like all my friends

-George E. Booth

Two facets

This being noticed is part of the overlap between Identity and Stimulation. One seeks validation (being noticed favorably) by adopting the dress, manner of speech, and behavior of the favored group. Conversely, one can seek negative attention or signify separateness by cultivating rejection from a disfavored group. In the 1960’s, baby boomers signified their rebellion through long hair, bell bottoms, and not bathing (seriously), signifying their indifference to approval of their parents and grandparents, whom they dubbed, “The Establishment.”

These parents and grandparents sought to maintain the culture, hairstyles, dress, and decorum they had learned on their way to adulthood — with tours through the Great Depression and World War II. The elder cohort thought the young ones were crazy, and staunchly held to their patriotic, straitlaced manners. The younger cohort thought this adherence to tradition was mindless conformity — and they thought it crazy not to embrace new experiences.

About glitter

If your upbringing included kindergarten, playschool, Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, or arts and crafts, you probably had at least one encounter with glitter. Tiny little squares of colorful, reflective whatever-it-is that added sparkle and shine to our creations. It was fun, interesting, and different, but very hard to control, and nearly impossible to eradicate. I recall finding “clues” in the family car for weeks after coming home with a class project that made use of glitter. (I have to give credit to the manufacturer who sought to sell glue with the glitter already in it — much less messy.)

So why do I say crazy is like glitter? In the same way glitter can be fun and novel, crazy people can also be amusing. For a while. But like glitter, most people’s crazy won’t stay where it’s put. Drama leaves the confines where it is interesting and gets everywhere. Depending on the severity of the crazy and the ensuing damage, you may never get rid of it. Most truly crazy people are ultimately way past fun.

What makes crazy so crazy?

I believe it starts with the denial of reality. Most of the crazy in the world betrays a disconnectedness from the world that is. People in groups will seek to sway others by asserting something clearly refutable by evidence. Consumers of these messages — particularly those with no tether to reality and seeking acceptance — go along with it and the sum total of crazy increases. With respect to to those with confusion regarding sex and gender, I have marveled that an entire social order should ignore plain biology to accommodate such a minute sliver of the population. And I am more surprised at the slavish behavior exhibited by publicly traded corporations. Even more surprising is the vitriol aimed at those who assert something as self-evident and simple as the existence of maleness and femaleness. I’m waiting for the denunciations of gender denialism — but I won’t hold my breath.

The second aspect that makes crazy so crazy is the indifference to rules, norms, and mores. “Rules for thee, but not for me,” was the heart of Pharisaic practice. “Rules don’t apply to me” didn’t work so well for them, as I recall. But notice how the crazy people you know regularly flout the written and unwritten rules on the road, in restaurants, and on the job. Our countrymen admire the rascal, the scamp, but it is truly unpleasant to have to work around — or clean up behind — the crazy.

The truly crazy seek to escape consequences. This is in an interesting phenomenon because some of these jokers do seem to get away with it. Facts don’t matter. Right and wrong don’t matter. They won’t get caught. And if they do, nothing bad will happen. In case you’re wondering, this is not the kind of outlook or legacy we encourage here.

Ultimately, this is a form of narcissism/egoism. If I am the only thing in the universe that’s real (as far as my feelings inform me), I can do exactly as I please.

But why do they do it?

I’m so glad you asked! Part of the reason I’ve emphasized identity followed by Truth is to make this next point clearer. People do crazy things because, having abandoned Truth, they do not know who they are or why they are here. This leads to a good deal of experimentation. Since I’m feeling generous, I’ll call it questing.

The quest is to overcome the boredom that a rootless, purposeless life will produce. Think about the worst stereotype of American middle-class consumerism. Glassy-eyed, stoop-shouldered, and paunchy, homo economicus americanus gets up every morning to earn enough money to keep a roof over his head, so he can get up every morning…

This is where the synthetic stimulants enter. These range from television to fantasy sports, to video games, to gambling, to intoxicants, to gossip, to stirring up conflicts among people, to living vicariously through celebrities or even one’s own children. (And yes, porn would be included in this grouping, too.) Not all of these would appeal to every man, but a bored man will be attracted to one or more of them. The goal is to fill the emptiness with experiences, with feelings — even if they aren’t rooted in reality.

I want to be fair and add that leisure time is a blessing, and a measure of our comparative affluence. And Story is an important part of being human. So please understand that I am for wholesome pastimes, just not at the expense of Living and being truly alive.

Contrast fake stimulation with a life of purpose and consequence where every day is vitally important, and the fruit of one’s labor is enhanced by the satisfaction of the tasks completed and delight at the work ahead.

Initiation: getting your question answered

On several occasions, I’ve written about the importance of masculine initiation, and how I initiated my sons into manhood. I also published my elder son’s account of his initiation. From this, you might conclude (correctly) that I think this is important. Let me explain why.

In his book Wild at Heart, John Eldredge writes that a man’s foundational question is “Do I have what it takes?” The process of masculine initiation aims to address this question affirmatively. In my sons’ case, I took them backpacking to pose a physical and a psychological challenge whose outcome was not a given. Clearly I wanted them to succeed, and I prepared them and encouraged them, but it was up to each of them to find the resourcefulness and determination to succeed.

A man who never receives an answer to his question will never be settled in his identity.* He may drift from job to job, or from woman to woman. Or he may work far below his potential, or sabotage his own success. All because he is afraid to be exposed as less than a man. This is the realm of the False Self and this is also the root cause of crazy.

Love, Dad

Statistically, a lot of young men are growing up in households without a father, and many of them don’t have a man in their life to show them the ropes. I can’t be everyone’s father or godfather — I can’t really be everyone’s mentor or friend. It isn’t possible. But I write these posts and offer what I have learned so these things don’t have to mystify you.

You may not know your dad, but you have a Father in Heaven who loves you. And He sent me to tell you these things so you can be a man who avoids crazy and lives a life of consequence — of Thriving Authentic Masculinity.

This starts by understanding who God is and who you are in relation to Him. This is the beginning of understanding, of wisdom, and of discovering your identity and purpose. I’ve written many words on these subjects already, so let me encourage you to seek those posts out.

In the meantime, let me give you some advice with regard to crazy:

Don’t date or marry crazy – She won’t change. But for God, people don’t change.
Don’t co-sign crazy – It’s bad financial practice, and you’re only enabling more jackassery.
Don’t make your living from crazy – It’s immoral to sell people the tools of their enslavement
Avoid other people’s drama – Recognize it for trap it is — especially the classic “Let’s You and Him Fight”
Don’t try to fix other people’s crazy – Love everyone and live your life. Pray for the crazy ones you know, but unless you’re a trained counselor, leave that to the pros.
Let God initiate you into manhood – If you didn’t get it from your dad, God wants to do this for you.
Get some sane friends – encourage each other in your respective missions.

So how about you – In what ways are you giving crazy a wide berth? Add your comments below.

*Girls need their fathers’ blessing, just as surely as boys need theirs. This father-absence or indifference shows up differently in boys and girls, but the result in both is an expression of crazy.

Why You Need Your Question Answered

Geo. Booth — Fri, 07 Apr 2017 04:05:55 +0000

Seeking stimulation by creating drama

“Crazy is like glitter. It sticks to everything, gets everywhere, and you never get rid of it.” – Anonymous (or perhaps I said it first)

In this post, I want to explore the relationship between Identity and Stimulation.

Insert Personality Here

Crazy

I submit to you that “liking it” is shorthand for “I want to be noticed.”

An important announcement from the poetry corner. I have written a Haiku that help to illustrate the point I’m trying to make. Here it is for your cultural enrichment:

Gen X Angst

Haiku writing youth

I’m a pierced nonconformist

Just like all my friends

-George E. Booth

Two facets

About glitter

If your upbringing included kindergarten, playschool, Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, or arts and crafts, you probably had at least one encounter with glitter. Tiny little squares of colorful, reflective whatever-it-is that added sparkle and shine to our creations. It was fun, interesting, and different, but very hard to control, and nearly impossible to eradicate. I recall finding “clues” in the family car for weeks after coming home with a class project that made use of glue. (I have to give credit to the manufacturer who sought to sell glue with the glitter already in it — much less messy.)

What makes crazy so crazy?

Ultimately, this is a form of narcissism/egoism. If I am the only thing in the universe that’s real (as far as my feelings inform me), I can do exactly as I please.

But why do they do it?

Initiation: getting your question answered

Love, Dad

In the meantime, let me give you some advice with regard to crazy:

Don’t date or marry crazy – She won’t change. But for God, people don’t change.
Don’t co-sign crazy – It’s bad financial practice, and you’re only enabling more jackassery.
Don’t make your living from crazy – It’s immoral to sell people the tools of their enslavement
Avoid other people’s drama – Recognize it for trap it is — especially the classic “Let’s You and Him Fight”
Don’t try to fix other people’s crazy – Love everyone and live your life. Pray for the crazy ones you know, but unless you’re a trained counselor, leave that to the pros.
Let God initiate you into manhood – If you didn’t get it from your dad, God wants to do this for you.
Get some sane friends – encourage each other in your respective missions.

So how about you – In what ways are you giving crazy a wide berth? Add your comments below.

Who Dares Wins

Geo. Booth — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 17:25:10 +0000

“Do not dare not to dare.”
~ C. S. Lewis

We live in the age of the Internet Tough Guy. You know the one; he launches his attacks from the safety of his man cave, boasts of his prowess and his willingness to fight anytime, anywhere, but strangely cannot be found when it’s time to back up his claims.

Words to live by

It’s much easier to be a poser — to affect the outward appearance, but lack the substance. As long as nobody looks past the surface, these guys get the benefits of what they claim to be without any of the risk, effort or expense. As the saying goes, there are 2,500 active duty Navy SEALS, but if you believe the stories told in bars on any given Saturday night, there are more like 25,000.

We see this in nearly every sphere — people pretending to be something they’re not. The workplace seems full of pretenders. Then there are those people who appear to check their brains at the door and remain in neutral. Lucky for them, a leader can give them a push in the right direction. But there is a subcategory that is even more dangerous to the health of an organization — the otherwise capable man who is immobilized by the fear of failure.

Call reluctance
No matter what my business card said at any given time, I’ve always considered sales an indispensable part of my work. I still do. Whether I’m partnering with a customer on a solution to his problem, proposing a new initiative at church, or singing a song for an audience, if I’m doing my job correctly I’m selling. Fear of failure — or better said, fear of rejection — is at the heart of the phenomenon known to sales professionals as call reluctance.

Prison time
As a younger man, I was in prison. No, I wasn’t convicted of a crime, but I robbed myself of opportunities by choosing to live in the prison I built through fear of failure. Perhaps you can relate to this: I’d devote hours to ideas, schemes and plans, but I wouldn’t bring them to fruition because the time wasn’t right, or they needed more work. These were rationalizations I allowed to take root because inside I was afraid of failing.

Freedom
The cure for me began nearly twenty years ago when I realized there was such a prison, and that I had locked the door from the inside. With God’s help, I decided to take some small steps and let God take care of the outcome. Along the way, John Eldredge’s book, Wild At Heart, exposed the root of this fear for me. He explained that every man’s fundamental question is this: “Do I have what it takes?” If a man hasn’t been initiated into manhood or confirmed in his ability to come through, he will remain in the shallows of life, placing only those bets or facing only those challenges he knows he can win.

In my case, this realization sent me on a quest to recover my heart. Providentially, it came at the right time for me to plan — and execute — a process of masculine initiation for both my sons. It changed my life. I’d be lying if I said that fear of failure doesn’t try to stage a coup every now and then, but I can also tell you that the more I stare it down, the less frequently it occurs.

My motive
I tell you these things because so many of you have grown up without a dad, or without ever knowing your dad was pleased with you. This has caused you to doubt your God-given capacity, and has made you a captive to fear. My message to you is that you can get better, and that God can restore the years you’ve lost. If you don’t have a relationship with your father, all is not lost. As I explained to my sons as we concluded their respective initiations, God had been fathering them through me all along — and God wants to be the Father you need. And I’m here to encourage you and to answer your questions, so you don’t have to slug it out alone.

Other practical steps
If you’ve made up your mind to stop dreaming about someday, here are some small steps to get you moving:

Accept that rejection is inevitable – If “no” is the worst they can say to you, make a game of it and try to become more efficient. See how quickly you can get to no. As someone once said, “A fast ‘no’ is better than a slow ‘maybe.'” And note this: Even the world’s most popular brands aren’t for everyone.
Be bold enough to ask — Ask for the meeting, for the phone number, for an exclusive distributorship agreement, for a place on the bill for next month’s show. Whatever it is you’ve set your sights on, ask for it. As Bill Hybels and others have said, “Don’t say someone else’s ‘no’ for him.”
Be prepared enough and thorough enough to ask for the order – I can’t emphasize this enough. When you get the meeting or the interview go in prepared. In these days of LinkedIn and Facebook, it’s a sin not to do your homework. Go further, though — have a list of killer questions. You’ll not only learn important things, your counterpart(s) will think you’re fascinating because you got them talking about their favorite subject. This applies to courtship, too, gents.
Be courageous enough to approach the woman, and the next woman — For you single men who intend to get married, you’ll never get married if you don’t or won’t approach an attractive woman. We’ll talk more about this in a future post, but I have a friend who met a quality woman at a dance by dancing with the other attractive girls there. She noticed and asked him to dance. Sneaky, but effective. But notice, he had to ask several women to dance first. Note: It’s not wrong to ask a friend to introduce you — in sales, this is called a warm lead.
Recognize that accomplishment begets confidence — I recommend stepping out and trying something new, just to see what happens. Start by altering your routine. Take a different route to work, or patronize a different restaurant and make an effort to meet some new people. This is a warm-up for real progress. Consider a public speaking, improv or ballroom dancing class. Take up a musical instrument or learn golf or fly fishing. It doesn’t matter what it is, the newness is the thing. This is particularly good for overcoming the fear of failure, since everyone who’s new at something fails repeatedly. A good instructor can model the very way you should behave toward yourself when you fail.

Try these and you’ll find the world is full of opportunities that others — like your former self — have overlooked.

So how about you? What’s holding you back from working at your full capacity? What’s your plan? Add your comments below.

Devote Yourself to the Process – Part II

Geo. Booth — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 02:27:01 +0000

“Not all who wander are lost”
– J. R. R. Tolkien

In Part I, we discussed the importance of committing to the process of becoming the man you were created to be. We noted that this is a long-term campaign, not a quick trip to the corner store. Now, I want to expand on the critical components of an effective transformation.

Engage the gears and it will function like clockwork

Get healed and live close to your heart
Author and speaker Gordon Dalbey says, “Before Jesus can put you on the front lines, he has to put you in his hospital.” Nearly all of us have been wounded just by living in a fallen world. To be able to overcome the challenges and setbacks that will come your way, it’s important to take the wounds from your past to your Father in Heaven. The time you spend working through this with God will pay great dividends. He wants to heal you, but you must be willing to endure the pain of walking it through it with Him. Note: In addition to Gordon Dalbey’s book Healing The Masculine Soul, I recommend John Eldredge’s Wild At Heart. These are two of the best.

Have a sense of destiny
Good news: If you belong to God through Christ Jesus, your destiny is to become — in your own unique way — more like Him. The spiritual process of becoming more Christ-like is called sanctification, and that is something God does in us. Our efforts in this regard are somewhat like trying to spend Australian dollars in Austria. That is, we don’t have the right stuff to make this happen by our efforts. This is a relief for those who grasp it, as it’s a simpler process when you simply let God love you.

Be in the company of men

As we have noted elsewhere, your friends are your destiny. Your values and your choices will, over time, resemble those of the people who wield the greatest influence over you. For most of us, those would be our friends.

Thriving, authentic masculinity is not designed to be a solitary pursuit. There is no such thing as the Lone Ranger: Did you notice that even he had Tonto? To realize your potential, you need a small number of fully alive men who will bring out the best in you, and whom you can encourage the same way. Men thrive in the company of men — “iron sharpens iron” as the Good Book says — and this implies that you must get past the surface. Avoid isolation — it doesn’t lead anywhere good.

Remain anchored in community
In our church we emphasize spiritual growth in the context of small groups called LifeGroups. In addition to making a larger church more welcoming, these groups provide opportunities for a dozen or so people to get beyond the façade — the polite, polished public exterior that is oh, so proper — to accomplish three main objectives:

To know and care for one another

To encourage one another and to grow spiritually

To unite in purpose and to commit to action that creates a beneficial impact in the community.

We’re made for relationships. To be the man you were created to be, part of your process must include being anchored in community. Lather, rinse repeat.

Get the proper tools
Here are a few other tools that can keep you on track and moving toward the realization of your purpose:

Become awesome at something – If you sing, always have a go-to song prepared. If you play an instrument, learn a couple of pieces cold, and be ready to kill it on demand. You say you’re good at card tricks? If you are able to study a topic or rehearse with focus for an hour a day, you can be an expert in a year. What do you want to have in your repertoire next year at this time?

Build confidence – Cultivating a series of genuine accomplishments prepares you for bigger future challenges. What keeps you from trying?

Conquer fear – Most of us are afraid to fail. I have found that I can conquer stubborn fears by thinking through the worst that can happen and then asking myself, “What then?” Try it.

Build your body and your mind – You don’t have to spend hours in the gym, and you don’t have to spend entire weekends in the library — unless you’re a full-time student. If your budget doesn’t permit a YMCA membership, check out bodyweight exercises. There are lots of great workouts that don’t require any gym equipment.And as for building your brain, get one of the classics and challenge yourself to read just ten pages a day. Don’t rush — enjoy the pace and read for maximum comprehension.

Develop your sense of style and OWN it – Find out what types and cuts of clothing fit you best and go deep with them. Although it’s generally not a good idea to buy, say, the same pair of pants in every color they make, it is better to look good every day, than it is to look different every day. (Women love a man in uniform, don’t they?) Consider your career and your aspirations and dress accordingly. Whatever your look is, own it completely, but don’t be afraid to adapt. Fashion changes, but style goes on.

Notice, we’ve worked from the inside out. This is the process you must follow to be the man you’re meant to be.

So how about you? What tools have you found most helpful as you embark on this process? Add your comments below.

Note: This is the sixth post in a series expanding on points made in a post titled “You Cannot Eat Like a Sparrow and Defecate Like an Elephant” on living a life of significance. You can read the previous posts here, here, here, here and here.

Devote Yourself to the Process – Part I

Geo. Booth — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 04:05:41 +0000

“When all else fails, read the directions.”
– Bob Smith

If you’ve ever built anything, cooked anything or learned anything, no doubt you followed a series of steps to bring the desired outcome to fruition. If you’ve decided to live a life of consequence, and you’ve begun to discover your purpose, and you’re developing a hunger and thirst for wisdom, you must devote yourself to the process of becoming the man you were created to be.

The process weaves the strands together

Process versus program
Earlier in my career, I attended multiple quality management seminars. One lesson that stuck with me is the distinction between programs and processes. As the instructor explained it, programs are designed to come to an end, while well-managed processes can run indefinitely. Since I’m not selling snake oil, I’ll shoot you straight: becoming the man you were created to be is going to take commitment and resilience over a period of years. I’m a grown man with two grown sons and my process is ongoing, if that tells you anything.

What are you fishing for?

I’m a terrible fisherman. My one redeeming quality is whenever I go fishing with my friends, no matter how few fish they catch, compared to me they always feel successful.

On one such excursion in frustration, I was casting off the end of a dock when a boat pulled up. The captain asked if I had caught anything and I replied, “Not yet.” His next question was a revelation: “What are you fishing for?” He was not asking why I was bothering — he wanted to know what I was trying to catch. I replied that I was fishing for whatever would bite. This is horrible, because to fish successfully, you have to use the right bait at the right location, at the right depth . All of this follows from deciding what kind of fish you’re trying to catch. Application: If you’re devoted to the process, start by clarifying what sort of man you’re supposed to be.

Understand what masculinity is and what it’s for

When I took my sons through the process of masculine initiation, I began with a physical ordeal — a backpacking trek in some challenging terrain. When we had made camp that first night, I began with a simple, yet profound question: Why did God make male and female? I’ve written previously about this topic, and you can read more here. For now, though, reflect on these questions: As a man, what is your role? In your family? In your career? In your community? What does God say about that role? How closely do you resemble that template?

Initiation into manhood

Did you have a rite of passage — a date, a time and a place you could point to when you became a man? Most men did not and it’s a pity. To understand your process, you have to have the assurance — the blessing — that you are indeed a man, and that you are made to come through.

There are masculine organizations that have provided something akin to a rite of passage, but I’m unsure how individual men are supposed to satisfy the deepest questions of their existence through group rituals such as fraternity initiations, military induction ceremonies and training, Scouting and sports. In my view, this is a father’s main job, but as we know a lot of men are spending their formative years apart from their dads. I’m concerned that street gangs with their more flexible, more personal approach may be filling the gap.

A question for you mentors reading this: What role could you, your tribe or your church play in providing a rite of passage for younger men? One resource is All There — a year-long mentoring course co-founded by Derek Bell and Bob Buford.

In Part II, we’ll talk about the components of a viable process.

So how about you? What is your process for becoming the man you’re intended to be? What have you found helpful? Add your comments below.

Note: This is the fifth post in a series expanding on points made in a post titled “You Cannot Eat Like a Sparrow and Defecate Like an Elephant” on living a life of significance. You can read the previous posts here, here, here and here.

Decide to Live a LIfe of Consequence – Part I

Geo. Booth — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 18:13:47 +0000

Happy New Year! I hope your 2015 will be one of significant growth and progress toward becoming the man you were created to be.

Around this time, many people make resolutions for the new year. Some of these are vague — so nebulous as to be useless — such as, “I’m gonna get in shape.” Perhaps people who say these things know what they mean, but without a clear objective and a defined program for achieving it, these resolutions go the way of so many others — abandoned and incomplete.

It’s a new year. Time to get to work on you.

Cognitive psychology has determined that there is a strong link between thoughts and feelings. That is, what you think will ultimately influence how you feel — not the opposite. If this is news to you, consider now the substance of your thoughts about yourself, your relationships, your work and your future. Then consider whether your feelings are generally positive or negative. If the latter, you may want to consider doing a better job of directing your thought-life.

I bring this up because for most of us the connection between thoughts and feelings doesn’t end with an emotional state. Our thoughts beget feelings. Those feelings lead to actions. Our actions create habits. Habits define our character. And character determines our destiny.

In a previous post titled “You Cannot Eat Like A Sparrow and Defecate Like An Elephant,” I listed several principles for creating a legacy. In this and in future posts, I intend to elaborate on those principles.

The first principle is: decide to live a life of consequence — that is, to live a life that adds up to something remarkable. In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey advises to “Begin with the end in mind.” Applied to your life, you can see this is much more significant than mere new year’s resolutions.

As we’ve noted, this begins with your thoughts. Think about how you’d like to be remembered by your friends and loved ones after your life is over. What would a consequential life look like? What accomplishments and character traits would you like to be known for? How do those thoughts make you feel?

This last question is important, so don’t duck it. If thinking about your legacy makes you anxious or uncomfortable, understand why that is. My guess is if you think about it honestly you can come up with the reason. So do that. Turn off the music, put your phone in airplane mode and go sit somewhere quiet where you won’t be distracted. Have a pen and paper handy so you can write down any insights.

For many men, the apprehension results from uncertainty regarding their own masculinity. As John Eldredge wrote in Wild At Heart, a man’s deepest question is, “Do I have what it takes?”

For some men, the less-than-stellar upbringing they had causes them to doubt their masculine strength. This could result from the absence — emotional or physical — of their father. The father-wound as John Bradshaw calls it, creates a generalized doubt that one has anything worthwhile to offer. This is a reason so many men fail to live up to the potential planted in them.

Even if you had a great father, there is enough economic uncertainty and political turmoil to make a man feel uneasy about the future. And of course, our culture’s relentless messages regarding the worth (or worthlessness) of men and overall suspicion surrounding masculinity can cause a rational man to question whether it would be worth it to stand out. This is where taking control of your thoughts becomes so important. Capture and subdue these toxic assumptions! Find their root and put them to death.

If you claim God as your Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ, you already have the ultimate reality on your side. He knows what He created you to be, and He knows what is keeping you from it. See k His wisdom and He will shoot you straight. This does not suggest that your life from here on will be free of trouble or that God has promised you a free pass through life. Far from it. He has promised to go with you, however, and in that knowledge, you can have confidence that your Heavenly Dad will see you through each one.

Here’s the payoff: No matter where you’re starting from, you can begin this year to realize your full God-given potential and live a life of true significance. But you must decide.

In Part II, we’ll talk about the process for staying on track this year and in the years to come.

So how about you? What does a life of consequence look like for you? Declare it to the world by adding your comment below.