While we celebrate the incarnation of Christ Jesus, I want to ask you to consider the example of a man who was indispensable to the Christmas story — Joseph the carpenter.

Meet Joseph

When we first meet Joseph in the Bible, he is defined in terms of his relationships — as the son of his father, Jacob, and the husband of Mary, the mother of Christ (Matthew 1:16).  From there we learn that Joseph was engaged to Mary, and that Mary was pregnant by God the Holy Spirit.

Joseph’s choices

Although Joseph could have avenged his honor and had Mary stoned to death for her supposed adultery, instead he made up his mind to break their engagement quietly.  But instead, a messenger of God — an angel — appeared to Joseph and told him not to be afraid to proceed with the marriage, because Mary was carrying God’s son.  So Joseph obeyed God.  The only other narrative mentions of Joseph in the Gospel according to Matthew show him moving his family to safety in Egypt, and later to Nazareth to avoid murderous and corrupt rulers.

Family ties

In the Gospel according to Luke, we see Joseph taking his bride to his ancestral home, Bethlehem, because of a census decree.  Jesus was born there just as it had been prophesied.  Bethlehem was significant because Joseph was descended from King David — the greatest king of Israel — and the prophecies regarding the messiah told that he would be the son of David.

Joseph’s greatness

Despite the slight number of scripture verses in which Joseph appears, his impact is tremendous.  Christmas could not have happened without him.  Here are the lessons I take from the life of Joseph:

• No whining — According to the genealogy of Jesus, Joseph could well have been the rightful heir to the throne of King David.  Instead he was a tradesman –a carpenter.  We do not have any account that suggests Joseph complained about his station in life, or about the circumstances he and his fiancée found themselves in.
• No drama — When it appeared Mary had been unfaithful to him, his love for her caused him not to want to subject her to disgrace.  His plan was to quietly send her away.
• Faithful — Joseph is described as a man of noble character.  Although this is not unheard of in the offspring of kings, it is by no means guaranteed.  Note that Joseph willingly accepted the role of Jesus’ earthly father, even though scripture tells us he did not have marital relations with Mary until after the birth of Jesus.  That is, he took the responsibility without any immediate gratification.
• Devout — We see Joseph hearing from God via angels and dreams, so we must conclude that he was seeking God’s wisdom.  Elsewhere we see him presenting the newborn Jesus to be dedicated at the temple, according to the law.  Certainly Joseph revered God to have ingrained such habits of belief and practice.
• Obedient — When God communicated His will to Joseph, it appears Joseph went straight to it.  Human nature was no different in Joseph’s day than it is in ours, so clearly Joseph must have known he’d have to deal with the whispers and gossip of his neighbors.  Based on the information given us in the Bible, he didn’t let anything deter him.
• Cool as the other side of the pillow — When evil Herod wanted to kill the newborn King of the Jews, Joseph got instructions to take Mary and Jesus into Egypt to escape Herod’s murderous intent.  And he just did it.  When news reached Joseph that Herod had died, God let him know it was safe to move back to Israel.  Again, he simply moved, although he did avoid Herod’s son by settling in Nazareth. (This decision fulfilled another prophecy regarding Jesus – this is why Jesus was considered a Nazarene.)

About the painting:  This is “Saint Joseph and the Infant Christ” painted by Baciccio — also known as Giovanni Battista Gaulli.  I love this portrayal of Joseph — his expression conveys such love, wonder and reverence.  What genuine nobility!  What a man!  

So how about you?  What of Joseph’s example can you put to work in your life?  Add your comments below.

Mrs. Booth and I celebrated our wedding anniversary this week. I am profoundly thankful for the years we have had together, and I look forward to the years ahead. The institution of marriage has suffered multiple body blows over the past several decades — and the situation is so bad I hear some of you saying you never plan to marry. You may be called to lifelong singleness, but I doubt it. So whether or not you’re able to see yourself married in the future, here are some of the lessons I’ve learned over the past 30-plus years.

Marriage is hard work…

Dating and courtship are generally good things if one remembers that he is seeking a wife. As good as these methods may be, they provide incomplete data. Nothing prepares a couple for the reality of married life. It’s different when you’ve taken vows before God and witnesses to become one for the rest of your life. Critics scoff that it’s “just a piece of paper.” They are wrong. The weight of marriage strips away the prerogatives of consumerism — you can’t legitimately trade in a wife like a used car. And the work of marriage is to work beyond the infatuation of the early years into knowing and being known through every circumstance.

…But it’s worth it

I’d fail you if I lied and said every day was like a cotton-candy scented rainbow. But the challenges my wife and I have overcome together and the high points we’ve also shared have united us in ways I can’t adequately describe. Even when money is short or work is stressing me out, having an intimate ally is a great blessing. And if you have children, having a solid marriage provides them with significant advantages in terms of their spiritual, emotional and intellectual health. All this to say, you can choose this and work toward it, and it will pay off for generations.

Marriage teaches you

Futurist George Gilder said marriage’s function was to civilize men. I don’t agree completely. I have learned over the years that marriage is, as my pastor says, the graduate school of service. If a man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church, there is a great pot of selfishness that has to die. Interestingly, that selfishness can’t die until it gets exposed. That happens in episodes over time.

If you had asked me on my wedding day if I thought I was selfish, I would have said no. I know better now, but I am still learning.

You will be tested

The old-school wedding vows exist for a reason. Our ancestors understood that our mortal condition was going to need some help. This is because hard times will come — maybe more than once. While you’re young and attraction is strong, it’s useful to have a reminder that you promised to hold on through tough times.

In our case, the first trial showed up just before our first anniversary in the form of a serious health diagnosis. It was not my finest hour as a husband. We worked through it largely because we are the sort not to enter into vows lightly. Thanks be to God!

And you will be tested

In a couple of previous posts, I have written about the husband’s role as spiritual head — as the leader — of his family. Going all the way back to the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, we see that one consequence of our fallen condition is that wives will tend toward dominating their husbands. Men who go along with this tendency rather than lovingly leading their wives can expect to see a loss in respect and attraction on the part of their wives. Understand that the tests a wife throws your way are her way of making sure she has chosen — and still has — the best of men. Leading helps her remember.

There is no magic number

A former colleague brought me to this realization when he explained that he and his wife got divorced after 20 years. “How?” I wondered,”Why?” I couldn’t understand how after all that time they could decide they could no longer stand being married to each other. He said they simply grew apart.

I still find that answer unsatisfying, but it galvanized my view that there is no point in your marriage when you can begin to coast or take your wife for granted. As the man, strive always to be your best. This means getting and staying fit, dressing well for your body type, and maintaining your intellectual and spiritual health as well. Continue to grow and you’ll remain interesting. This will help to maintain her attraction to you. And this will motivate her toward all kinds of good things.

It also means you Have a Plan and a mission, and that you invite your wife to join you in your quest. A quiet evening at home can be great for your marriage. Don’t just come home and flop on the couch by default. Have adventures together. Continue to initiate and to pursue her — in and out of the bedroom.

People say passion fades. I disagree.

Your mileage may vary

I have been married to one — and only one — woman, so understand that what my wife likes may or may not be the same as what your wife likes. Getting to know his own wife is a man’s greatest joy. It takes time, but that’s a good thing because you stay married a day at a time — and you’re aiming for a lifetime.

Likewise, measure what I or any man offers in the way of marriage advice against God’s word and use your God-given sense. I am aware that there are pitfalls in and around marriage — and I have been far from perfect as a husband. Still, I cannot imagine my life any other way, and I thank God again for blessing me with such a wife.

So how about you? How do you plan to build a strong and durable marriage? What lessons have you learned? Add your comments below.

In honor of Veterans Day, a heartfelt word of thanks to all of you who have served or are serving in America’s armed forces.  Thank you for your willingness to train, to suffer hardship, to experience separation from your loved ones, and to put your life at risk for your countrymen.

My late father-in-law was a veteran of World War II,  He was one of four brothers, all of whom were drafted away from their family farm in rural Tennessee.

After completing his training, he became a Technical Sergeant in the Army Air Corps — the precursor to the US Air Force.   His responsibilities included making in-flight repairs and serving as a waist gunner aboard a B-24 Liberator bomber in the European theater, as part of the Mighty Eighth Air Force.

Like many men of his generation, he rarely talked about his experiences during the war, downplaying the danger and his role.  “It was late in the war by the time I got over there,” he always said.   Once when my grandmother asked if he had ever been to Germany, he gave a slight smile and said, “No, but I’ve been over it.”

Following the war, he returned to the farm for a while before enrolling in Tennessee Tech on the GI Bill.  Following his graduation from college, he earned a doctorate in agronomy and genetics from the University of Wisconsin.

With his PhD, he took a position as a research agronomist with the US Department of Agriculture and was assigned to a research station at a large state university.  He worked there the rest of his career, developing numerous soybean cultivars that fed millions and teaching graduate students from around the world.

As distinguished as his career was, he was also a devoted husband and father, raising my wife and her siblings in a godly household.

Over the past dozen years or so, we have seen popular sentiment regarding military service return to an appropriate level of respect and gratitude.  This is as it should be.

At the same time, I hear and read some people saying that the US is no longer worthy of such devotion or service.  I am not here to argue for or against — especially not with those who have served.  On this occasion, however, I want to commend those who, like my father-in-law, saw their duty, did it and came home to build an exemplary life.  This is still a county that produces such men.  That is worth preserving.

So how about you?   What lessons did you learn from your own military service, or that of your friends or family members?  How are you using that wisdom to be your best?  Add your comments below.

“Whoever digs a pit will fall into it,and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling.” — Proverbs 26:27 (ESV)

By now you may have already heard about the news story broken by Rolling Stone magazine — a horrific tale of a brutal sexual assault on a female first-year student that allegedly took place in a fraternity house on the University of Virginia’s grounds.  From there it got worse, as the story alleged that the victim’s friends discouraged her from notifying the police, and that the university’s response when the victim came forward was, shall we say, inadequate.  However, in the unforgiving glare caused by the unfavorable publicity, UVA’s president suspended all fraternity activities until further notice.  There’s just one thing: the story printed in Rolling Stone wasn’t accurate.

Somebody should blow the whistle

Why talk about what didn’t happen?*

Two reasons: 1)  Young men need to understand the times in which they live — recognizing that some accusations are, in the minds of some journalists, too good to research.  And 2) Young men need to make sure their conduct is above reproach in every circumstance — and never more so than in their dealings with women.

Far from calling for an unthinking return to chivalry, this is a call for self awareness, self respect and self control.  If you are committed to maintaining a life of integrity, you will want to avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing.  This will not only preserve your reputation — and hers — but it will also help to shield you from the sorts of accusations being lobbed on college campuses these days.

As shocking as it may seem, there is no longer a presumption of innocence on many college campuses.  And many institutions of higher learning have done away with due process — eliminating, for example, the right of legal representation, of cross-examination, or even that of confronting one’s accuser.  Even if you’ve done no such thing, being on the receiving end of a rape accusation can nuke your college career for keeps.

Time-honored wisdom

Recently, I published a post regarding King Solomon’s advice to young men regarding the forbidden woman.  Here’s more wisdom from this ancient king:

“As I stood at the window of my house looking out through the shutters, Watching the mindless crowd stroll by, I spotted a young man without any sense Arriving at the corner of the street where she lived, then turning up the path to her house. It was dusk, the evening coming on, the darkness thickening into night. Just then, a woman met him— she’d been lying in wait for him, dressed to seduce him. Brazen and brash she was, restless and roaming, never at home, Walking the streets, loitering in the mall, hanging out at every corner in town.

“She threw her arms around him and kissed him, boldly took his arm and said, “I’ve got all the makings for a feast— today I made my offerings, my vows are all paid, So now I’ve come to find you, hoping to catch sight of your face—and here you are! I’ve spread fresh, clean sheets on my bed, colorful imported linens. My bed is aromatic with spices and exotic fragrances. Come, let’s make love all night, spend the night in ecstatic lovemaking! My husband’s not home; he’s away on business, and he won’t be back for a month.

“Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. Before you know it, he’s trotting behind her, like a calf led to the butcher shop, Like a stag lured into ambush and then shot with an arrow, Like a bird flying into a net not knowing that its flying life is over.

“So, friends, listen to me, take these words of mine most seriously. Don’t fool around with a woman like that; don’t even stroll through her neighborhood. Countless victims come under her spell; she’s the death of many a poor man. She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin.”  Proverbs 7:6-27 (The Message)

We should take a moment to state categorically that some — but not all —  men do assault women. But we also must acknowledge that some — but not all — women lie and lob false accusations. In biblical language this is called bearing false witness (testifying falsely) against one’s neighbor. Taken with the cultural Marxist project to destroy men, a man under such suspicion cannot count on a fair hearing in the media. Hence this discussion about journalistic malpractice by Rolling Stone.

We’ve talked before about leading in the context of relationships — how you should set the tone and be the gatekeeper.  In this way, it’s on you to ensure you and your female companion are not in situations that will even appear illicit.  In the passage above, Solomon is saying the young man should not have allowed himself to be seduced.  This is my advice to you, too.

Understand that apart from marriage, the boundaries are blurry.  What you think is mutual consent could turn out to be an accusation that ruins your life.  No momentary pleasure is worth that.

Epilogue:  

To their credit the magazine, embarrassed,  pulled the story — all 10,000 words of it — apologizing for not researching the claims of the alleged victim more thoroughly.  Despite the retraction of this story, UVA did not reinstate fraternity activities with anything near the speed with which they suspended them.

So how about you?  How are you taking care to mind your reputation in the dating arena?  Add your comments below.

*Just because Rolling Stone’s account can’t withstand scrutiny, that doesn’t prove the young woman wasn’t assaulted.

“The increasing complexity and precariousness of our economic life have forced Government to take over many spheres of activity once left to choice or chance. Our intellectuals have surrendered first to the slave-philosophy of Hegel, then to Marx, finally to the linguistic analysts.”
– C. S. Lewis from “Willing Slaves of the Welfare State”

Last fall, David Horowitz’s FrontPage Mag published an article by Mallory Millett titled “Marxist Feminism’s Ruined Lives.”   The article described what Millett saw as a young divorcée in the 1960’s at the birth of the modern (second-wave) feminist movement, and the toll it took on her and others.   Millett’s older sister Kate Millett was one of the key figures in the movement — Kate Millett and her book Sexual Politics deserve full credit for helping spawn women’s studies programs in nearly every American university.

It’s a trap!

The unholy litany

In her article, Mallory Millett describes a meeting she attended with her sister — a Marxist consciousness-raising event that included a call-and-response chant between the leader and those in attendance.  According to (Mallory) Millett, it went like this:

“‘Why are we here today?” she asked.
“To make revolution,” they answered.
“What kind of revolution?” she replied.
“The Cultural Revolution,” they chanted.
“And how do we make Cultural Revolution?” she demanded.
“By destroying the American family!” they answered.
“How do we destroy the family?” she came back.
“By destroying the American Patriarch,” they cried exuberantly.
“And how do we destroy the American Patriarch?” she replied.
“By taking away his power!”
“How do we do that?”
“By destroying monogamy!” they shouted.
“How can we destroy monogamy?”

Their answer left me dumbstruck, breathless, disbelieving my ears.  Was I on planet earth?  Who were these people?

“By promoting promiscuity, eroticism, prostitution and homosexuality!” they resounded.

Surprise! You’re a target

Did you understand that if you are or intend to be a husband and a father — a patriarch — that you are also a target?  According to the Marxist feminists, it would only be possible to supplant the culture of the United States by destroying the family as its central institution, and it would only be possible to destroy the family by destroying its spiritual head.  That would be you and me.

Why are we talking about this?

I recognize that this is a bit off the normal track for this blog, but we have discussed the ongoing crisis in masculinity, and the need for us to become men who live out of our masculine strength.  Now perhaps you see what is at stake.  We always want to offer practical encouragement here, and this post is no different.  If I sent you on an errand, and I knew there was danger along the route, I would tell you — consider this a friendly warning.

In the same way you wouldn’t enter a lacrosse game without your helmet, pads, gloves and stick (and, of course,  your cup), you must go into today’s classrooms, workplaces  and entertainments aware of the plan to destroy men.  So consider the aim is to take you out, to neutralize your masculine strength, to render you powerless, impotent, emasculated and ineffective.  Worst of all, the plan is not to overpower you, but to entice you into surrendering.

What time is it?

Men, it’s late.  If you are in doubt about the effectiveness of this strategy, consider your own opinions and attitudes concerning promiscuity, eroticism, prostitution and homosexuality — and how they may have changed in the past ten years.  Now consider the opinions and attitudes of your friends, classmates and colleagues.  Next consider the messages concerning these four forces that you’ve encountered in classrooms, news articles and reports, in movies and television programs and in social media.

As you see, America has undergone a cataclysmic change in its mores since the consciousness-raising event attended by Mallory Millett.

Is it hopeless? 

• Don’t take the bait — These weapons only work on you if you let them.  Sexual sin is tempting, but recognize what’s behind it and take the long view.
• Clean up your diet — Don’t feed your mind with stories and images that undermine your masculine strength, or that promote your destruction.
• Audit the institutions you’re part of — Use your freedom of association to find, found or fund organizations that promote and value authentic masculinity.  (This is why I’m on this corner of the internet, by the way.)   If you need to change churches, employers, schools, vote with your feet.  When you realize you’ve stepped onto the conveyor belt at the slaughterhouse, you have every right to step off of it.
• Enlist allies — find brothers who are committed to the same values.  Not all women are on board with the destruction of the family.  Find them.  As I pointed out previously, the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey — although promoting promiscuity and eroticism — repudiates Marxist feminism’s anti-masculine aims, since the audience seems keenly interested in a dominant man.
• Build your body and your mind — You are on your way to becoming the best possible version of yourself, aren’t you?  You need strength to withstand the allure of temptation in every form.
• Challenge the assumptions — As you encounter these anti-male ideas, be prepared to question their origins and their legitimacy.  Don’t be afraid to point out the consequences of four-plus decades of Marxist feminism and ask if we’re better off in any way.
• Reform your manners — English abolitionist, William Wilberforce, worked until the day he died for the abolition of slavery and for “the reformation of manners.”  As men, we should take up this cause and make it our own.   If you’re married, start by leading your family, even if it’s difficult.  Let’s reform our own character after that of Jesus, and work to liberate men and women in the clutches of these destructive forces.  Just by living fearlessly and unabashedly as a man, you’ll cause others to find their courage.  We can do this with God’s help.

So how about you?  In what ways have you gone along with the plan for your own destruction?  How do you intend to regain your strength?  Add your comments below.

 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18 (NIV)

Time flies. What’s the big deal?

We need to strengthen social cohesion.

What do you see?

• Polarized politics – the left and the right do not talk to each other, so much as they talk at or past each other.
• Contentious social issues – Triumphalism and scorched earth seem to be the order of things, “Coexist” stickers to the contrary
  • Intolerance in the name of tolerance
  • Flash mobs, shouting down of unpopular points of view, suppression of dissent, and speech codes
• Nationalism vs. Globalism – diametrically opposite and irreconcilable views concerning the relationship between citizens and their government
  • This is actually a three-way clash between the worldviews of militant Islam, international Socialism and classical Liberalism
• The rise of populism – It may be pure cynicism, but notice how political candidates speak of The Little Guy or Everyday Americans
• Tribalism and parochialism – intensifying competition among identity groups
  • Charles Murray’s book Coming Apart examines the stratification among college-educated versus non-college-educated whites, showing how what he calls the “cognitive elite” increasingly keep to themselves.
    
• Fraying moral consensus – Americans no longer share a common view of what makes up a good life, or of the values that encourage and sustain it.
• Setting groups against one another – note political rhetoric aimed at appeals to group identity. These pit:
  • men against women
  • black against white
  • poor against rich
  • Law enforcement officers against civilians
• Suspicion and hostility toward institutions – some of it well-deserved. Consider the opinions of your friends about:
  • Church
  • Government
  • Media
  • Business
  • Academia
• Erosion of social trust – note the rise of gated communities, security systems, and neighbors who don’t know each other
  • This is, in part, a byproduct of the failure of institutions. If authorities lie with impunity, trust dies.
• Reality television and social media rewarding the lack of self-control and exhibitionism
  • This creates an amplifying effect – creates a self-fulfilling perception that “everyone is doing it.”
  • This also undermines notions of personal modesty and privacy
• Acceptance of near-universal surveillance – we aren’t the only ones recording video, but “it’s for our safety.”

What vulnerability?

Is it hopeless?

So how about you? What do you think about Williams and Drew’s prediction? What am I missing? Add your comments below

“Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.
– Proverbs 22: 29 (ESV)

When I was a graduate student, the Institute had a series of guest lectures intended to enhance and broaden our thinking.  Attendance was mandatory.

I can’t recall all the topics, but they ranged from Creativity to Ethics to building a successful career.  It’s this last that I want to share with you.

This one goes up to 12! Crank up your career by learning from the ones who went before you.

Dr. Louis T. Rader held a doctorate in electrical engineering and was retired from General Electric.  Following his retirement from GE, he taught in the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business.

His dress was conservative and his manner of speech was direct, and he had what military veterans would call command presence.  His no-nonsense demeanor and delivery, however, belied the wit that made his words to us that day so memorable.

He spoke to us for some time about his own experiences as a young manager and then he shared some principles for career success he called “Rader’s Rules.”  Here, to the best of my memory, is what he offered us:

1.  Never run out of money — it’s a quick way to lose confidence.

2.  There can be no compromise between a poor player and a great organization.

3.  Good calculus won’t cover poor math.

4. If you play games with people, people will play games with you.

5. The sum of all expenses must be less than the sum of all revenues.

6.  The man who goes to bed early to save the cost of a candle will wake up the father of twins.

7.  It’s hard to lead a large organization from a subordinate position.

8. As long as you remain in neutral, you can only go where you’re pushed.

9. You can’t sell the second if you can’t sell the first.

10. When the quarterback says go around left end, you go around left end.

11. Anybody off the street can run a business at a loss.

12. Statistics are for losers.

13. If you don’t get the facts, the facts will get you.

This is an incomplete listing, but I offer this as food for thought for you.  If you are in the early years of your career, or are seeking to begin it, there is great wisdom in these eight phrases.  So much wisdom, in fact, I continue to apply these axioms as I continue to navigate my career decades in.

Please note the theme of integrity that runs through these sayings.  Each of us owes it to himself and to his employer to view himself, the company where he works and his circumstances clearly.  As famed stage magician Teller says, “The biggest lie is the one you tell yourself.”

Note also the emphasis on getting the fundamentals down.  Your talent may get you into a meeting, but a weak handshake or a lack of eye contact may sink your chances.  Or to use another example, you may have gotten the order, but is it profitable?

My personal favorite is rule number 6.  Taking shortcuts or falling for the false economy invariably creates unintended consequences that cost more in the long run.

I hope these will stick with you the way they have with me.

So how about you?  What’s the best career advice you’ve received?  Add your comments below.

Note: A hat tip to Walter Curt, a former associate of Dr. Rader’s for providing some more of Rader’s Rules.

Men:  We have to talk about sex. If there’s one area where this generation is stuck, this is it.

The Water Was Dirty Before You Got In

Now, before you conclude that I’m pointing my finger at you, please realize that the Boomer cohort gave us the sexual revolution and rampant divorce, and the Gen X cohort was equally careless about sex and marriage.  But it’s even worse than that.  These are the guys who grew up to convince you that everyone but you was sexually active, to urge the women you know to emulate the worst of promiscuous men, and to offer you pornography pretty much anywhere and anytime — and all so they could separate you from your money.  If you want poor examples, the generations ahead of you are shot through with them.

Applying wisdom — that’s a horse of a different color!

So if you’re a typical American male, you were probably exposed to pornography somewhere around age ten.  But even if you didn’t see any sexually explicit magazines, videos or websites in your youth, you’ve been awash in a culture that has turned sex into a commodity devoid of any spiritual significance.  As a man who has spent much of his career in and around sales, I say it’s lazy to use sex to sell.  As bad as that is, it’s worse to be so checked out that you allow it to influence you.  There is a better way.

Meet King Solomon

In the Old Testament (that’s the first 39 books of the Bible), we meet a king named Solomon.  He was the son of King David and Bathsheba (there’s a story about the misuse of sex, right there).  When Solomon succeeded his father as the king of Israel, God told Solomon to ask him for anything.  In reply, Solomon asked for wisdom to govern God’s people.  This pleased God and he promised Solomon that no one would be wiser or more honored than he.

In addition to building the Temple in Jerusalem, Solomon reportedly had 1,000 wives and concubines.  (Here I should point out that just because the Bible describes something, it does not prescribe it.)  Solomon is also credited with several books of the Bible — Ecclesiastes, The Song of Solomon, and Proverbs.  And that brings us to the purpose of this post.

In Proverbs 5 Solomon writes this:

My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

incline your ear to my understanding,

that you may keep discretion,

and your lips may guard knowledge.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil,

but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death;

her steps follow the path to Sheol;

she does not ponder the path of life;

her ways wander, and she does not know it.

And now, O sons, listen to me,

and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Keep your way far from her,

and do not go near the door of her house,

lest you give your honor to others

and your years to the merciless,

lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

and at the end of your life you groan,

when your flesh and body are consumed,

and you say, “How I hated discipline,

and my heart despised reproof!

I did not listen to the voice of my teachers

or incline my ear to my instructors.”

Be the Gatekeeper

What Difference Does It Make?

The Rest of The Story

It Isn’t Easy

So how about you?  How are you applying God’s wisdom to help you lead a chaste life?  Add your comments below.

“Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere  
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst  
Are full of passionate intensity.”

 – W. B. Yeats from The Second Coming

I recently read and re-read Roy H. Williams and Michael Drew’s book titled Pendulum: How Past Generations Shape our Present and Predict Our Future. The book deals with a similar principle to that examined in William Strauss and Neil Howe’s books Generations and The Fourth Turning, respectively. That is, that history unfolds in twenty-to-forty-year spans that culminate in periods of crisis.  Williams and Drew posit that the cycles are more like the arc of a swinging pendulum — hence the title — swinging every forty years from what they refer to as a “Peak Me” phase to a “Peak We” phase. According to their theory, which they seek to prove through an analysis of 3,000 years of western history, the next Peak We will occur around the year 2023 — less than six years from now.

“A house divided against itself cannot stand.” – Abraham Lincoln quoting Jesus

Definitions, please

Before I go further, I want to provide definitions for the terms Williams and Drew use and to summarize their principal argument. The most important distinctions are those between the Me phase and the We phase. The authors explain the attributes of each as follows (and I am quoting them verbatim here):

“We” Mindset vs. “Me” Mindset

Drivers of a “We” Cycle

1. Conforms for the common good.
2. Assumes personal responsibility.
3. Believes a million men are wiser than one man.
4. Wants to create a better world: ” I came, I saw, I concurred.”
5. Small actions.
6. Desires to be part of a productive team.
7. Values humility and thoughtful persons.
8. Believes leadership is “This is the problem as I see it. Let’s solve it together.”
9. Focuses on solving problems to strengthen society’s sense of purpose.

The motto of a We phase is “United we stand, divided we fall.

By contrast, here are the drivers of a “Me” cycle:

1. Freedom of expression.
2. Personal liberty
3. One man is wiser than a million men.
4. Wants to achieve a better life — “I came, I saw, I conquered.”
5. Big dreams.
6. Wants to be number one.
7. Individual confidence and decisive  persons.
8. Leadership is “Look at me. Admire me. Emulate me if you can.”
9. Elevates attractive heroes to strengthen society’s sense of identity.

The authors provide multiple reminders of the arc of the pendulum and the phases of its swing throughout the book. And they explain the implications in considerable detail.

Why I am writing this series of posts

I’m sure you’re wondering why I am so fascinated with a book that came out five years ago, and why I’m writing about it now. (Thank you, Straw Man!) It’s because as we in the west approach the peak at each end of the pendulum’s arc, we always overdo it. An excess of “Me” results in a more isolated citizenry and a diminished sense of community. At the other end, however, the peak of a “We” results in  forced conformity for the common good — and the authors say that brings about witch hunts and bloodbaths. If they’re right, I want my friends and readers to be aware of what could be coming so we can all prepare.

What it’s not about

Williams and Drew are at pains to emphasize that the ideas in their book are not political or partisan. The pendulum and its arc appear to be quite separate from whichever party is in power. More on that in a moment. Clearly, the products and services we see on offer — and more vividly, the way we see them marketed and sold — does change with the era. Even so, this is not a discussion about economics.

It’s also important to note that these periods are not based on the year of one’s birth, or the average age of the population. Rather, they are based on the population’s experiences — individually and culturally. Notably, because “We” phase peaks are eighty years apart, for most of us, this will be a once-in-a-lifetime event, certainly once in one’s adult life.

Not about the political left or right

My friends on the left will no doubt say, “Of course things are polarized. Look at how horrible people on the right are.” And my friends on the right will certainly say, “Of course we’re heading for a clash. Look at how horrible those people on the left are.” Polarization is certainly a factor, but the likelihood of a serious conflict does not seem to be a function of which political party is in power.

The three most recent peak “We” cycles occurred in or around 1943, 1863, and 1783. Note that all three occurred during times of war — World War II, The American Civil War, and the American Revolution. Two of the three predate today’s Democratic and Republican parties. And there’s more: the greater bloodbaths of the most recent peak “We” occurred at the hands of Hitler and Stalin — to my knowledge neither was a proponent of our two-party system.

Polarization already on display

I wish I could say that the authors explain the cause of these cycles, but they are reporting and not diagnosing. The bulk of the book seeks to confirm the hypothesis that these cycles exist and that another peak “We” is coming — with all that entails. I certainly find their argument compelling and I’ll offer my reasons.

Populism

Let’s start with the rise of populism — on both the left and the right. Throughout the 2016 presidential campaign, both candidate Donald Trump and candidate Bernie Sanders appealed to everyday Americans, citing the many ways these citizens were receiving short shrift from the Elites. Even consummate Washington insider, Hillary Clinton affected the manner of a populist.

Overheated rhetoric

Along with populism, note the overheated rhetoric in the news and on social media. People are agitated and are feeling free to speak without self-restraint. In a prior post, I took the left to task for belaboring and cheapening through overuse Hitler and Fascist as euphemisms for people with whom they disagree. The right has its own set of offensive names for people on the left, too. None of them suggest we are on the cusp of a Kum-ba-yah outbreak.

Add to the overheated rhetoric the breathless articles, columns, and blog posts asserting that we are in a Cold Civil War that could go hot at any moment. In my view, some of this seems to be aimed at goading less stable people to take violent action. And as we’ve discussed, people in need of Identity, Stimulation, and Security connected to a higher purpose may find the notion of fighting such a war appealing. Friends, even a cursory reading about civil wars in the US, Spain, or Bosnia will convince you that this is nothing to wish for.

Worldviews matter (yes, I said it again). I have written extensively about the need for cultivating a biblical worldview, and I want to encourage you again to consider how the Bible speaks most accurately about the nature of man and his condition in a fallen world.

Look, I acknowledge that there are conflicting worldviews. But for the most part, we’ve been able to tolerate one another while noting our differences. At the same time, I wonder if we aren’t caught in the world’s largest game of “Let’s You and Him Fight” — where people in power pit constituencies against each other to deflect attention from their own self-dealing. (Wait. Did I just sound like a populist?)

Forced conformity

Consider the emergence of campus speech codes, trigger warnings, and safe spaces. I’m not a fan. As I’ve written before, your ideological immune system ends up enfeebled if you never encounter an unfavorable idea. Plus, Safe spaces are a joke when one isn’t permitted freedom of thought — and forced conformity criminalizes wrong ideas.

Is it inevitable?

Williams and Drew suggest that the Pendulum is swinging and will reach its zenith in the next three-to-six years at the apex of “We.” The only possible out is to recognize what may be coming and to choose a different response. In an upcoming post, I want to discuss what I think may happen, the role of the church and her people, and some thoughts on how we should live in times like these.

So how about you? What do you make of Williams and Drew’s hypothesis? What’s your plan if they’re right? Add your comments below.

“Thank you, the phrase, ‘the greatest thing since sliced bread,’ for making me seriously wonder who’s in charge of deciding what the greatest thing is.” – Jimmy Fallon

I’m sure you received a lot of nice gifts for Christmas this year.  If you want to stand out as a man — to be the best version of yourself possible — take the time to sit down and write thank you notes to the ones who gave you those gifts.  Not only is expressing gratitude the right thing to do, sending thank you notes displays genuine old-school manners — the kind a gentleman should always show.

Take note! There will be a test later

So how about you?  In what ways do you intend to become a better note writer in the coming year?  Add your comments below.