In Part I, we discussed the connection between work and satisfaction.  I posited that the contentment that comes from working toward and achieving a goal is great inspiration toward further accomplishment — a virtuous circle.  But how does the allure of free affect us individually and as a people?

Time for a change?

Millennials are the most marketed to generation in human history.  Your ability to see through and resist sales pitches is commendable.  On the other hand, this backlash against marketing has caused something of a rush toward “free.”  There are some ways that this is a good thing, since paying more for something you could otherwise have for less is poor stewardship.

The legitimate use of free
Sales training expert Jeffrey Gitomer teaches his students to “Give value first.”  This giving is genuinely for the benefit of the prospective client, but it’s a step on the path toward a mutually profitable business relationship.  To his credit Gitomer extols the importance of establishing and cultivating business friendships — and there is always mutuality in friendship.

In some cases, though, free is used to ensnare you.  Think of it this way: Bait is free to a fish, but only until the hook is set.

Music wants to be free?
Perhaps it does, but as a musician, it’s disappointing how many people are unwilling to pay for music downloads (I believe that’s called stealing.) or are unwilling to pay for live entertainment.  It’s a bit of a sore point for me, but you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve been asked to play for free “for the exposure.”  I believed them years ago.  Curiously, the paying gigs that were supposed to result from playing for exposure never seemed to materialize.  This is because — then as now — there’s always somebody else willing to play for free.

If you’re an aspiring musician, have enough integrity to refuse — politely — the opportunity to play for free.  You’ll feel better about yourself as an artist, and you might even be able to afford food.

Also, if you’re pirating songs or movies, for the sake of your conscience and your future entertainment, please stop.  Thank you.

It’s nobody’s business
And then there’s porn — ubiquitous and free — but not without cost.  Let’s list briefly some of the ways free pornography can cost you:

• Compulsive behaviors and changes to brain architecture that mirror addiction — Google it.
• Relational laziness and social ineptitude — Relationships require investment.  Porn provides some of the benefits of marriage (i.e., sexual release) without the effort required to love sacrificially.  This makes a man more passive and less resilient.   If you desire to love an actual woman, these are not the attributes of the best version of yourself.
• Disruption – of desire and empathy, of connection — Porn reinforces self-centeredness and is antagonistic to normal relationship and attraction.  Where marital relations bind husband and wife more tightly, making each more sensitive to the other, pornography numbs the soul and more.  There are documented cases of pornography-induced sexual dysfunction.  Sex was made for two — not a man and a page or screen.
• Dilution of marriage and its permanence — I wrote about this in response to Fifty Shades of Grey, but when husbands and wives turn away from each other and toward porn, neither fulfills the God-ordained roles of married lovers.  Sex within marriage is designed for the lifelong delight and fulfillment of both the husband and the wife. That this sounds weird only illustrates how far from home we are.  The search for fulfillment in a series of imaginary paramours weakens the bonds of marriage.  The dissolution of marriages weakens society.

But I don’t pay for it
Even if you aren’t paying to consume pornography, understand that every click on a porn site is a vote.  Those votes — signifying demand — are then  used to justify the creation of more of the same.  This means more people are called on to debase themselves for others’ amusement and arousal.  When you realize that not everyone appearing in porn is doing so by choice, it’s even worse.  We rightly condemn slavery in America’s history, but would we condone subjecting our wives, our sisters, our daughters or our sons to being commodified and consumed this way in our own time?

I’ll write more on this topic soon, but pornography and prostitution are the primary drivers of human trafficking — the blight of modern-day slavery that afflicts our land even today.

The myth of free love
I was a child in the 1960’s and 1970’s, and I was very aware of the cry of the counterculture — the first wave of baby boomers rejecting the beauty and mystery of the marital union for a series of what are today called hookups.  In the name of “free” love, we have paid a dear price.  I explained it to a friend of mine this way:

Dr. Frankenstein sought to build a creature — to play God — by assembling a body and trying to jolt it to life.  He was only partly successful, for what he succeeded in making was not a living soul, but a monster bent on destruction.  Similarly, we can take two sets of genitals and put them together pleasurably.  We can create a spark — the nerves and synapses fire and it all works as designed, giving the appearance of life.  I would argue, however, that apart from the vital spiritual union of marriage for which God created sex, we have created another monster that is even more destructive.

Free at last — really
God, the creator whose very nature is love, sent His son, Jesus, to reconcile us to the Father.  His love was anything but free — Jesus laid down His life to take the full measure of God’s wrath — the punishment each of us deserves .  This is a gift we can’t earn and we don’t deserve.  God’s fondest desire for each of us is that we would receive His extravagant gift of new life.

He did this to liberate us from the futility of trying to please Him through our own efforts, and from the bondage of trying to steal what He wants to give His beloved children.  We can say yes to His love, love Him in return, and learn what it is to be truly free.

So how about you?  In what ways have you taken the bait?  How have you gotten free?  How can I help?  Add your comments below?